Why Some Mothers Just Want To Watch The World Squirm

“Just Wait”

Who could ever imagine that when paired together, these two rather benign words are able to strike a deep and unsettling fear into the heart of all mums-to-be?

They do. Trust me.

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“Just wait until you get the baby home, you won’t be so confident then.”

“Just wait until you try and soothe a crying baby at 3am, then you’ll realise what being tired is like.”

“Just wait until you have to hold your baby while they get their vaccinations, you won’t be able to cope.”

“Just wait until you have the baby... you never know what the ultrasound may have missed.”

And breathe...

For some reason, other mothers enjoy engaging in a kind of playful verbal sadism with expecting mothers. Call it cruelty, call it boredom, or call it jealousy – whatever it is, it remains one of the most appalling betrayals of the sisterhood, especially at a time when a woman is at her most vulnerable. Particularly, a first-time mum-to-be. Me.

Clocking into my third trimester, I’ve had my fair share of “just waits” along the way. Mostly from women who've already been down the rocky road of new motherhood.

But instead of feeding a mother-to-be with positivity, those ‘just wait warriors’ delight in increasing that intense fear of the unknown by lecturing new mums on everything that could go wrong.

You can try to shrug it off with a throwaway “I’ll be fine”, all the while thinking; “Please, please, let it go”.

But instead you’re treated to a 15-minute diatribe detailing the confronting intricacies of an emergency caesarean. Then you’re treated to a tale showcasing one woman’s messy natural birth. You hear the word "vagina" followed by "ripped" several times.

You try to zone out. You fail.

Given most women are clued in by their doctor as to how prevalent depression and anxiety are in pregnancy, you wonder why other mothers – the same women who may have suffered some form of mental anguish – are the first to accentuate the negative.

When recently confronted by that barrage of negativity, I tried (naively) to push back with positivity. How stupid was I?

Who did I think I was? Did I have some crystal ball that was telling me everything would be OK?

This may come as a shock, but I possess zero psychic abilities. I know - I’ll give you a moment to pick your jaw up off the floor.

Believe it or not, I have no idea what is going to happen, not just three months from now, but tomorrow and the day after that.

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But if I don’t know either way, then why choose to accentuate the negative?

Then again, maybe I’m missing something.

Maybe it helps to be terrified about giving birth.

Maybe it helps to enter the birthing suit in a heightened state of anxiety.

Maybe the baby enjoys the stress.

Then again, maybe some mothers just like to watch others squirm.

Disclaimer: Natasha Lee is an employee with Yahoo7

If this post brings up issues for you, or you just need someone to talk to, please call Lifeline on 131 114.