The Duggars: How to keep your marriage sexy

19 Kids and Counting Facebook

After 30 years together and 19 children later, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar know a thing or two about keeping the spark alive in their relationship

Made famous by the television show 19 Kids and Counting, the family are devoutly Christian, the huge brood all have names that start with "J", and Michelle home-schools them all.

And despite airing their day-to-day life on reality TV, the couple seem genuinely in love with one another and are openly (and often) affectionate with one another. Jim Bob summed it up when he told TODAY Moms: "We're like a newlywed couple every day!"

The Duggars are dishing this love advice for couples working on keeping the newlywed-vibes strong:

1. Even if you're tired, make time for sex

Michelle says, "'Be available. Anyone can fix him lunch, but only one person can meet that physical need of love that he has, and you always need to be available when he calls.'"

2. But take your rest days too

It's not all sex all the time in the Duggar bedroom. In accordance with Old Testament traditions, they abstain from sex for up to 80 days after childbirth and they don't have sex when Michelle has her period. But abstinence has its advantages: "When you've missed it for seven days, you look forward to it even more," Michelle says.

3. Treat your wife like a queen.

Remembering to take the time to communicate your feelings is key to emotional intimacy, say the Duggars. Even though their lives revolve around 18 children (their eldest Josh, has left the house and is married with 3 children of his own - all with names starting with "M") they still manage lovey-dovey text messages and pet names. They send "I love you" texts, call each other "Sweetie," and kiss in the kitchen. "That's key in a relationship, the husband needs to cherish his wife and always treat his wife like a queen," Jim Bob says.

Jim Bob and Michelle in their 20s

4. Always share your feelings - even if you're a guy

"He shares his heart with me, his struggles, his fears and his dreams," Michelle tells TODAY Moms. "Many men would not do that, but God's word says that before honor comes humility. When he learns to humble himself before God and me, it builds him up so much in my eyes."

5. Leave your A-type personality at the office desk

Perfectionism kills romance, warns Jim Bob, because "expectations ruin relationships". Strive for perfection at work but bring it home and risk killing your relationship, he says. And don't withhold praise - it can be damaging to those you love (and love you).

6. Keep dating

Every Saturday night, Michelle and Jim Bob enlist the services of the older kids to babysit the younger ones and then they hit the town together....usually going to Michelle's favourite icecream shop. Yup. "It's a really special time," Jim Bob says.

The kids have a buddy system to ensure no-one gets left behind!

7. Never stop learning

Despite their epic romance, Jim Bob and Michelle aren't too good for the advice of others and regularly seek the counsel of others. They recently met an Amish couple who'd celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary and asked them their secret. Their answer? The phrases, "I was wrong" and "Will you forgive me?"

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