People always say that raising a child takes a village. It's helpful to lean on friends, family, and your partner — if you have one — while pregnant. But it looks like one Reddit user, u/Ok_Basket7916, who we'll call Basket for short, didn't get that memo.
In a now-viral post shared to the Am I the Asshole subreddit, Basket relentlessly describes his current living situation, where his pregnant roommate proves to need round-the-clock care. "The girl that I live with, 'K,' is pregnant and is due early next year," he wrote. "Of course she seems excited to have a baby, but at the same time, she has been making her pregnancy my problem."
Then he lists out all of K's supposed offenses: "I get that the pregnancy is going to affect her physically in many ways, but K has been a pain in the ass to deal with. I had to throw out all the bananas because she was complaining about how strong the smell was. She isn't helping with cooking or cleaning as much as she used to."
"K cries about almost everything, and it's annoying as hell. Her pregnancy is making her vomit, which I expected, but sometimes, the vomiting is so intense, and once she pretty much projectile vomited on the floor because she couldn't make it to the bathroom, for which I had to clean vomit up."
"Over the past few months, she has been asking me to get things for her from the store, even on good days when she isn't feeling sick. When I asked her why she couldn't just get up and go to the store herself, she said that I'm 'not the pregnant one,'" he said.
"So, this is where I may be the asshole," Basket continued. "K has been asking me to drive her to her appointments, which I did once, but then it became a constant thing of her asking me, and I kept refusing."
"This is what happened the other day. She asked me to take her to the clinic, and I said no, I was busy that day. She kept pleading with me, and finally, I had enough and kind of snapped."
"I told her that she is the only one responsible for her pregnancy and to not make it my problem. She needs to stop making it [my problem] by asking me to constantly do favors for her," he said.
"She started crying, and I left because I couldn't take it anymore. I know I may have been harsh to a pregnant lady, but I don't feel like I need to be her personal servant. Am I the asshole?"
And before you get heated or decide one way or the other, there's a very key detail that Basket conveniently left out. A commenter asked point blank whether he was the child's father, to which Basket responded, "Yes."
"Again, her pregnancy is her responsibility. I'm waiting for the baby to come so that we could be done with this," he tried to justify. "She is my roommate. I mean, that's what she's acting like, instead of a wife."
Following this reveal, everyone who initially felt like Basket's "roommate" was potentially taking advantage of him flipped and started bashing him for being intentionally deceptive.
"Wow. Way to skew the story in your favor by calling your wife, pregnant with YOUR child, your 'pregnant roommate.' That is so disrespectful to her and your baby," user u/WittyGarbage59 said.
"You're the asshole for intentionally leaving out the fact that you are married and the father. You knew that would make people not take your side, so you lied. Honestly, I hope she leaves you because you're a shitty husband, and I can't imagine you'd be a better father," u/Low-Attention-1998 agreed.
Stunned by the revelation, people revisited Basket's post and couldn't believe he said his own wife's pregnancy — which he took part in — was solely her responsibility.
"YOU impregnated her. That child, and thus the pregnancy, is as much your responsibility as hers. OF COURSE the father buys food and drives the mom to appointments; that's the bare fucking minimum. She's suffering to bring YOUR child into the world. You're the asshole for acting this way and for speaking of your family like this. You will surely be a terrible father," u/WittyGarbage59 said.
"Did she get pregnant via immaculate conception? No? Then step up!" u/BabsieAllen added.
People seriously couldn't fathom someone treating their wife this way, especially when they're expecting.
"It is your responsibility to care for your wife, especially in such a difficult time. Pregnancy is very different from person to person. Your wife is already being sick most of the time, and you expect her to clean up her vomit? ... I understand that it is a hard time for you, too. But trust me, it is harder for her. The early stages of a pregnancy can be more difficult than the later ones for some women, especially with sickness and mood swings and fatigue," u/EryThrozyt1210 said.
Ultimately, everyone hopes that K gets the support she needs — whether that be from her husband, or following a divorce.
"This lady deserves more support. She deserves a better partner actually. I hope she tells her family and friends how you've been treating her, not to gossip but so they can offer her the comfort and support you refuse to show her," u/Rohini_rambles said.