Ellen DeGeneres Admits It Was 'Devastating' Being Labeled as Mean After Talk Show Scandal: 'It Consumed Me for a Long Time'

"I'm happy not being a boss or a brand or a billboard, just a person," DeGeneres said in her final Netflix special, 'Ellen DeGeneres: For Your Approval'

Two years after The Ellen DeGeneres Show came to an end, Ellen DeGeneres is getting candid about how toxic workplace allegations made against her affected her mental health.

The allegations, first made public in a report published by BuzzFeed News in July 2020, were addressed by the comedian, 66, in her final Netflix special Ellen Degeneres: For Your Approval, which premiered on Tuesday, Sept. 24.

"I'm happy not being a boss or a brand or a billboard, just a person," said DeGeneres, whose talk show ran from 2003 to 2022 for 19 seasons.

Related: Ellen DeGeneres Returns to Netflix for New Comedy Special — but Says 'This Is My Last' (Exclusive)

"Just a multifaceted person with different feelings and emotions, and I can be happy and sad and compassionate or frustrated. I have OCD and ADD. I'm honest. I'm generous. I'm sensitive and thoughtful," she continued. "But I'm tough, and I'm impatient, and I'm demanding. I'm direct. I'm a strong woman."

After being met with roaring cheers from the audience and receiving a standing ovation, she mouthed "thank you" to the crowd and declared she was "proud of who I've become."

"When you're a public figure, you're open to everyone's interpretation. And I'm sure you've heard the saying that, 'What other people think of me is none of my business.' Because people will say all kinds of things and you have no control over that. But you know the truth and that's all that matters," she said.

DeGeneres shared that being in comedy made her "care what people think" because "it's our only real currency for success."

The PEOPLE Puzzler crossword is here! How quickly can you solve it? Play now!

"If they like you, you're in, and if they don't, you're out. And I've spent an entire lifetime trying to make people happy and I've cared far too much what other people think of me. So, the thought of anyone thinking that I'm mean was devastating to me, and it consumed me for a long time," she said, noting that she's gained "perspective" with aging.

"After a lifetime of caring, I just can't anymore. So I don't. But if I'm being honest... and I have a choice of people remembering me as someone who was mean or someone who was beloved. Be-lov-ed? Beloved? Beloved. Someone who is beloved? .... " DeGeneres said before adding, "I choose that."

Related: Where Is Ellen DeGeneres Now? A Look Back at Her Past Controversy and What She's Doing Today

Although DeGeneres' long-running talk show ended in May 2022, nearly two years after BuzzFeed News' report was published, she previously told The Hollywood Reporter that the allegations didn't factor into her decision to conclude the series.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Ellen Degeneres: For Your Approval is now available to stream on Netflix.

For more People news, make sure to sign up for our newsletter!

Read the original article on People.