Yahoo Lifestyle Divorce Lawyers Are Sharing The Wildest, Weirdest, And Pettiest Reasons Their Clients Split Up, And My Jaw Is On The Floor For Some Of These
Divorce lawyers hear some of the most bizarre and shocking details about people's marriages.
And a while back, we wrote about divorce lawyers who shared the wildest, most outrageous reasons their clients filed for divorce, and those stories were pretty bizarre. Then, some readers even shared their own W I L D stories with us too.
I'm not kidding. These stories range from painfully petty to jaw-on-the-floor-shocking. Here are the best ones:
Some responses also came from this thread and this thread because they were just too good to ignore.
1."Not my story, but a friend who is a divorce lawyer: While a man was having sex with his wife, a condom fell out of her. They never used condoms."
2."The groom said, 'I didn't like her anymore,' just two days after being married."
3."His mother still coddled him at age 40, with his consent. The couple lived with his mother. By coddle, I mean that she would walk straight into their room after his shower and powder his back for him. They couldn’t lock their bedroom door because his mother would come in when she wanted. If they locked the door, she would knock repeatedly asking what they were doing. LOL, what would they be possibly doing??? Playing poker???"
4."A friend of mine divorced his then-wife because she would only speak French when her family would come over. She was Spanish, as was her family...In addition, her family spoke English, French, and Spanish, but he could only speak Spanish and English. She got bored of being married to him; her family basically talked shit about him whilst he was there, it was only when he recorded a conversation whilst they were there and got it translated he found out what was going on."
5."A woman was divorcing my client because he was 'too sad' after his father died last year. My client had to break down her door to get his father's ashes a few weeks after he left the house, and she refused to let him back in or give them to him."
6."I worked as a paralegal for a divorce lawyer. Case analysis was one of my main responsibilities. I shit you not, a recently married couple (of two years) broke it off because the husband would not stop feeding the dog. The dog got outrageously fat. Apparently, she saw a connection between the dog and future children."
7."A lawyer in my old office represented a woman whose husband left her because she got involved in a romance scam that started as a pen pal. It was a weird marriage. They kept separate lives for 30 years. She began corresponding with someone she believed was a three-star General serving in Afghanistan. It went the typical way scams like this do: she fell in love, and he needed money to move from Afghanistan back to the United States. She eventually would transfer him about $70,000 over the course of eight months. Even when my friend brought me into the conference room to lay out the case as being a scam, for which I had piles of proof, she continued to transfer money, including a $8,000 transfer the day after."
"The judge ruled she owed her husband dollar for dollar what she gave the scammer, so $70k plus he issued a temporary restraining order barring her from transferring marital assets. My friend dumped her as a client when she showed interest in appealing the TRO and trying to expedite her divorce so she could 'marry' the scammer."
8."Divorce lawyer here. One client filed for divorce because he owed his bookie $70,000. He didn't want to leave his wife, but he figured he would get half the house in the divorce, which was worth $700,000, and pay his debts. He had already blown through their life savings gambling. He was the worst guy."
9."The wife wanted to divorce her husband because he kept taking their dogs for walks while she was at work, making it (unintentionally) so they’d rather cuddle the husband instead of her after a long day."
10."He got drunk at the wedding, which she did not like, so she decided to divorce him right after the honeymoon (which she went on without him). Moreover, this was all an elaborate scheme of divorce robbery because the guy was loaded, and so was his entire family. They were loaded because they were a family of EXCELLENT lawyers, and he was a third-generation lawyer with all the smarts and experience of his predecessors combined. Let's just say it did not go well for her."
11."I knew a couple who divorced for irreconcilable differences over time spent playing Everquest."
12."I worked in matrimonial law for a year and a half before I had to leave because it just overwhelmed me with how awful humanity is. I'll never forget filing papers that described her soon-to-be ex-husband's behavior, including: 'masturbates on the living room couch without closing the door and leaves sticky tissues everywhere' with further description of their three young children potentially walking in on him."
13."Her usage of the K-cups. Mediation almost fell through over who would take the remaining K-cups. After three hours of arguing, I offered to buy them each a set of the K-cups they had. So, $200 later, I got rid of a ridiculous client."
14."I haven't done a divorce case in over 15 years, but the last one I did, the husband slept with his wife's sister and then married the sister. The wife responded by marrying his brother. Holidays must have been fun."
15."Failed exorcisms. The client had an inner ear condition that caused chronic vertigo, but symptoms could be treated with medication. The husband was an evangelical who was convinced his wife 1.) had become possessed and that her vertigo and general crankiness with his methods were evidence of demonic possession, 2.) the medications she was taking were enabling the devil to hide inside her, and 3.) the only proper recourse was exorcism. He would hide her meds until she got dizzy and then try various methods of exorcism. This included: sweating it out (putting her under blankets while incapacitated and locked in a room full of space heaters), freezing it out (pretty much the reverse with AC, fans, and bags of ice), and surprising it out (he would jump out and scare her like it was the hiccups, but instead of yelling 'Boo!' he would recite the Lord's Prayer or Psalms)."
"The final straw was that he tried to 'surprise it out of her' by pushing her down the stairs when they were heading out for dinner. Note: This guy was an executive, and they still went out to dinner after the stairs incident. She asked for the divorce at an Applebee's that night. I have often tried to picture that conversation, as she was adamant that he was a total sweetheart and never acted out of malice or anger."
16."I represented an adult film actress/webcam model who filed for divorce from her husband, who also had the same job. He would create gay adult content on the side because the pay was better. She was hesitant about it but dealt with it because the pay was decent. Both sides had an agreement that it wasn't cheating as long as it was for work. One day she came home early and found her husband in bed with two men...they were not filming...that was too much for her. Needless to say, the old conservative judge couldn't wrap his head around this one."
17."My divorce lawyer told me her most ridiculous case involved two years of litigation over a Lego collection. Court costs, attorney fees, etc., had all added up to way more than the value of the collection."
18."A husband and a wife were having a very acrimonious separation. If I remember correctly, he was very successful, and she was going after him for an immense amount of money. She happened to be a multi-prize-winning gardener. We're talking about an absolutely exceptional collection of rare and gorgeous flowers, shrubs, the works. After an unsatisfactory development in their divorce proceedings, she came home to find that her husband had ridden their lawnmower over her entire garden, shredding every last stem and leaf into bits."
19."Had a client whose soon-to-be-ex-husband used her email address and phone number to sign her up for every bank, loan, religious, mental illness, and pornographic site he could think of. She was bombarded by people contacting her about her interest in their product/services. He even put out ads for sex partners on Craigslist with her information. The kicker is that she actually went out with a guy who contacted her!"
20."He said she was trying to put a curse on him or something. I only stood in for this matter once (I think for the pre-trial), so I didn't know all the ins and outs, but he believed she had seen a witch doctor and put something under his mattress."
21."My aunt had a case where the wife had glued all of the outdoor hoses together so her husband wouldn't spend time washing his vehicle anymore. When the glue didn't work, she just cut them all up. When he bought new ones, she filed for divorce."
22."Every morning this couple would sit in the bathroom together while one of them had their morning dump. One would sit on the toilet and the other on the rim of the bathtub. This particular morning, the wife was on the toilet and the husband was on the edge of the tub. They start to argue about their relationship, so the wife reaches down, pulls her tampon out, and flings it at her husband. I’m told the tampon stuck for a brief second to his forehead before sliding off. He filed for divorce that same day or the next."
23.And finally, "I used to work as a file clerk for a divorce attorney. Our client was trying to get full custody of her child because her husband was 'dangerously neglectful of their son.' How was he being dangerously neglectful? By serving spaghetti (instead of turkey) for Thanksgiving. I wish I were making this up."
Responses have been edited for length/clarity.
