Almost six months after she revealed she'd suffered a devastating miscarriage, radio star Em Rusciano says she's still coming to terms with her loss.
The 38-year-old 2Day FM breakfast presenter put on a brave face at the 2017 Derby Day in Melbourne on Saturday, but said knowing she would've been giving birth in three weeks' time had things gone differently, is difficult to digest.
"No, I’m not [feeling better], but I just put one foot in front of the other and that’s all I can do," Em told Be at the racing event.
"There will always be a..." she trailed off, before saying, "I mean I was supposed to give birth in 20 days".
The former Australian Idol star wants to be a pillar of support for other women experiencing miscarriage, and therefore has made it the subject of her next stand-up show, set to kick off in 2018.
"So the show I’m doing next year, the tour... I’m doing stand-up comedy about miscarriage," she told Be.
"And I think if you don’t laugh you’ll cry."
Crediting her husband Scott for his support during the challenging time, she said: "Scotty's been amazing, actually everyone’s been amazing".
Earlier this year Em, who already has two children, Marchella and Odette, took a two-week break from her breakfast radio show which she hosts alongside Harley Breen.
She wrote on Facebook: "About 10 weeks ago I got the most wondrous surprise. I found out I was pregnant.
"I was going to announce it this Monday as we’d hit 13 weeks, but instead I will be at home in the most exquisite pain I can possibly fathom. Yesterday I found out that my little boy, was lost to me."
She also said she and Scott had decided to name their son Ray.
Em added: "I see pregnant women and can’t help but feel envious and angry, that was supposed to be me. My tummy was supposed to be swelling and then in November we were supposed to have a son. That’s not to be now.
"A lot of you know exactly what I’m going through, this kind of loss isn’t uncommon and yet it feels entirely unique to me. I think you all heroic for continuing on, I’ve been in the same pair of pyjamas since yesterday, crying a seemingly endless supply of tears and can’t imagine ever leaving my bedroom again.
"So I’m going to take some time off the radio, off performing, off social media, off life. Not for too long, but I need some time. I know you’ll all understand."
The Sands miscarriage, stillbirth and newborn death support helpline is 1300 0 72637.
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