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Confessions of a Porn Star

Growing up in California’s sunny Sacramento, tomboy Sasha Grey didn’t dream of becoming a model, teacher or lawyer. Her fantasy job was much more original: porn star. “I was watching a lot of porn,” says Grey, 21, casual in a meeting room at Sydney’s Hilton Hotel in black jeans and a polo neck, her only concessions to glamour her heels and kohl-rimmed eyes. “I did seven months research, read interviews with adult stars, took notes and weighed up the pros and cons.”

At 18, with a list of what she saw as positives (including proving women have a taste for perversion and satisfying her sexual appetite, which includes a penchant for violent sex), Grey set out for Hollywood. “I told my mum I was going to LA to act but two weeks later told everybody [the truth],” says the Los Angeles resident, now one of the porn industry’s biggest stars after making more than 150 films and winning numerous adult-industry awards. “I got into it to challenge the way things were done from a creative standpoint. I also wanted to be able to explore my sexuality in a controlled and safe environment.”

Highly ambitious, she also explores other creative outlets, including making her mainstream debut in director Steven Soderbergh’s The Girlfriend Experience as a high-class hooker who offers men the full relationship experience. “She is absolutely in her element,” said Soderbergh. “That only comes from being in situations like that and being in control. It’s kind of awesome.”

Grey thinks so, too. She feels empowered by her job and believes society “is ready for [groups of sexually aware women] who can say, ‘We enjoy doing this — you don’t have to be ashamed.’ ” OK, but what’s the sex like? “There is no time for build-up half the time, so I try to get myself into it, and the only time I fake it is if it’s soft-core, because it’s like, ‘Go. Go. Go!’ ” she says. “For the most part, even if you don’t have an orgasm, it’s still pretty enjoyable.”

And all part, she says, of a giant regulated industry. “The obvious stereotype is that everybody is on drugs and forced into it. I’ve seen a few things, but it’s not Boogie Nights.” Grey defends her profession against claims it is the same as prostitution, given porn stars are also having sex for money. “We’re tested [for sexually transmitted diseases] and they’re not, this is legal and that isn’t, and this is on film for an audience and that is just for one person,” she says. “But at the end of the day, it’s just what your morals are. Everything in life is a transaction. If you don’t make money out of yourself somebody else will.”

Which is why, in May, the guitar player in industrial-music collaboration Atelecine started her own production company, Grey Art, making porn. “I wanted to encourage women, ‘You don’t have to be afraid of your sexuality.’ I know—for so long I [felt] so guilty of the desires I had,” says Grey, who has “no idea” how many men and women she has slept with: “The male talent pool is much smaller than the female, so you generally are having sex with the same people.”

In her spare time, Grey hangs with friends and her fiancé, photographer Ian Cinnamon, 34, who was a friend from Sacramento. “We’re homebodies,” says the child of divorced parents, who dreams of doing the conventional marriage and children thing. “Generally we just watch a good film and relax at home.” And does Cinnamon get jealous? “No,” says Grey, adding with a laugh: “He actually said he can’t watch other porn now.” Today, though still starring in porn, most of her time is spent between directing and producing it. She is also writing a book on her philosophy of sex and graphic novels, plus putting together a coffee-table book of shots she has taken on adult sets.

Someone who’s not a big fan of her work? Her mother, a government staffer. Says Grey: “My mum obviously hated it and still isn’t totally OK with it. I’m not going to say, ‘F--k you! You don’t like what I do.’ I love my mum.”

The Girlfriend Experience is available on DVD from Jan. 6.