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C-section mum devastated after friend slams her for 'not giving birth properly'

A mum has turned to the internet for advice on how to handle her friend’s hurtful comment about her C-section birth.

The unnamed mum found herself being judged by her friend, who claimed the mum had not given birth “properly” and had only done the “easy bit.”

“So I had a baby boy 5 months ago and recently met up with some friends whose children are older. Haven’t seen them since the baby, she began in a Mumsnet post.

“I generally don’t talk about the birth because no one really wants to know about someone else’s experience, but they did ask so I briefly told them (induction, back to back labour til fully dilated, pushing with episiotomy and forceps, emcs).”

A mum has asked for advice on how to handle her friend’s hurtful comment about her C-section birth. Photo: Getty Images
A mum has asked for advice on how to handle her friend’s hurtful comment about her C-section birth. Photo: Getty Images

She then continued: “One of them said ‘So you’ve come away from that thinking that you know what it’s like to have a baby’. Wtf does that even mean? I said ‘I don’t get what you mean by that!’

“She said ‘You’ve not given birth properly, you’ve not been in transition, you’ve only done the easy bit. So many women think they’ve given birth but they have no idea’.”

Naturally the mum was shocked by the comments and admitted it “left a nasty taste in my mouth.”

“Maybe she’s right and I’ve only had the easy bit (in which case I would hate to see the next bit!!) but surely no one really thinks like this about labour?” she mused.

“My other friend didn’t agree but didn’t necessarily disagree; she said that a section is the easy option but if your body can’t give birth properly then it’s not your fault. I’m not sure why I’m posting except to say- Aibu (Am I being unreasonable) that this is not how normal people view childbirth?”

The mum found herself being judged by her friend who claimed the mum had not given birth “properly” and had only done the “easy bit.” Photo: Getty Images
The mum found herself being judged by her friend who claimed the mum had not given birth “properly” and had only done the “easy bit.” Photo: Getty Images

Most comments were on her side as one person wrote: “That person is not a friend. What a horrible thing to say.”

“Your friend’s attitude is disgraceful and shocking. I would definitely distance myself from her. Who the hell does she think she is to be so judgemental,” another added.

“Your labour and birth sounds like it was incredibly hard work and tbh much harder than mine, which was a spontaneous vaginal delivery! I’m sorry your ‘friend’ is such a cow,” one person commented.

She sounds horrid. Of course you’ve given birth – your baby has been born so you must have done! And it sounds like your birth was much harder than mine, where my baby did come out vaginally. Ignore her, she’s an idiot,” another stated.

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