Bethenny Frankel Feels 'Free' on First Birthday Since Her Mother's Death: 'We Were Tethered to One Another on This One Day'

Frankel revealed she shared a birthday with her mother Bernadette Birk, who died of lung cancer in April

Bethenny Frankel is opening up on her 54th birthday about her “complicated” relationship with her late mother Bernadette Birk.

The former reality star wrote on Instagram that she hasn’t always enjoyed celebrating her birthday, which she shared with Birk, who died of lung cancer in April 2024.

“I was born on my mother’s 20th birthday,” Frankel wrote alongside a series of photos of her over the years. “I was never public about sharing her birthday. Our relationship was complicated at best and it represented pain and shame. Its symbolism was inescapable.”

Related: Bethenny Frankel Announces Death of Her Mother Bernadette Birk: 'I Have Beautiful Memories of Her'

She noted that birthdays have been “an incredible source of anxiety” amid her complex relationship with her mother.

“Like Goldilocks, too little was too little and too much was too much,” she shared. “The biggest trauma in my life was this mother daughter relationship, and we were tethered to one another on this one day. As a child I would get physically sick every year.”

“This year, I feel free, lighter, happier as if something has been lifted,” she continued. “It has been profoundly transformative. I am proud of my age and of the mother, friend, partner and person I am and I am truly happy. I have everything I want and need.”

Related: Bethenny Frankel Pauses Divorce Podcast Following Mom’s Death

The former Bravo star concluded the note by giving thanks for the woman she is today, writing, “Thank you for giving me the greatest gift I could ever ask for which is your love, understanding and support. I learn from you every day. Happy Birthday to myself… xoxo 🎉 🎂 🎁”

“PS I can’t wait to show you the vintage Mercedes I bought in her honor… #happybirthday #birthday #loveyourself #happy #adventure” she added.

The post included a throwback photo of Frankel and her mother as well a snapshot of the podcast host with her own daughter Bryn Hoppy, 14. She also included photos of her solo adventures over the year, a video of a vintage car and a snapshot of her holding hands with an unidentified man.

In April, The Real Housewives of New York City alum announced the news that her mother had died at age 73 in an Instagram post.

"My mother has died of lung cancer. She was complex, in pain, isolated and had demons," Frankel wrote at the time. "She was the most stunning woman you have ever seen, who left her abusive home as quickly as I ran from mine."

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"She was brilliant, funny, cultured and wise — yet suffered a lifelong eating disorder, alcoholism, abuse, smoking and self destruction," she continued.

Frankel noted that Birk was not "equipped to be a mother," but added, "She loved me and I have beautiful memories of her."

She shared that her mother taught her about "food, wit, culture and strength."

It was Frankel's own daughter who inspired The Real Housewives of New York City alum to reconnect with Birk.

"She adored Bryn and they shared a love of art," Bethenny wrote, adding that her mother left her assets to Hoppy.

Frankel opened up about her estranged relationship with both of her parents, including her dad Bobby Frankel, who died in 2009, while she was filming season 3 of RHONY.

If you are experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go to thehotline.org. All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages.

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