It is no secret having children can have a big impact on a couple’s relationship.
And one Aussie mum, Mel Watts, has touched hearts with an extremely “raw and honest” post about how her ten year relationship is no longer what it once was.
“Husband. Wife. Roommates? If someone told me years ago that my relationship would one day change, I would have laughed and said no way,” she began in a Facebook post. “I write this from a very raw part of my heart. The other night I lay there crying for unknown reasons [okay, maybe not unknown – the utero was having it’s monthly party] as I tried to go to sleep.”
She continued: “He was snoring his busy week away and I was wide awake thinking of all the things we used to do. How different we use to be. I was mad at him for changing. I was mad at myself for changing. It is no ones fault. Its just a moment in our life where I can say – it’s not all roses and handcuffs.”
“The long date nights have gone. The sleep-ins are non existent. The surprise weekends away, we can no longer afford them. The new underwear – seriously who even made edible underwear ‘excuse me whilst I finish my mouthful of cotton candy, shit I’ve got a hole in my tooth, that hurt’…. Completely impractical,” she listed.
“The long hot showers, are now lukewarm and we’re tag teaming kids in between. The late nights are now laying there silently with our backs to each other hoping the other one will get up for the crying baby.”
The Modern Mumma blogger then went on to admit that having children “put a damper on things.”
“Some people may be able to keep their s**t together but some people, like us, we find it hard to balance. The children have become the number one priority and at some point we need to learn to put our relationship towards the top of that priority list,” she continued. “I think in time it will become that way again. You have to make it past these difficult times to get there. It’s not that it’s even difficult, its just different. And sometimes different is really hard. Things have changed. Have they changed for the worse?
“No. I don’t think so. I think this moment in our lives is where we need to be right now. I am still very very much in love with my husband. It’s just a different kind of relationship now. It’s commitment. It’s contentment. It’s frustrating. It’s repetitive. It’s another chapter in our life. I know not all people go through this. But I have. I think it’s normal and I also think that I cant be alone in this. Surely there are other people out there who feel the same?”
But she had a positive message for her readers as she reminded tham that the changes doesn’t mean the couple’s romance is dead.
“It’s very much alive but it also has another 3 humans involved it’s not as easy anymore. Do I think he deserves more? Of course I do. He deserves the world when at this moment all I can give him is a hairy, cranky wife,” she wrote. “If someone asked me today “Did your relationship change over time?” I would answer – Yes. Nothing is going to be easy forever. Nothing is going to stay the same. And thats okay. Life is all about the change. It’s about becoming together and staying together during the good, the ugly and the children.”
She continued: “Once you stop comparing yourselves to your old selves it becomes easier. Once you talk to each other about it you understand you’re both feeling the same way. Of course it’s worrying and of course its scary. No one likes change, and no one expects change. But just like everything else in life – relationships change.”
“SO heres to grey pubes [not yet] and sexless nights. No round two’s and nothing tight. I wouldn’t want to be old and saggy with anyone else!” she concluded.
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