Amanda Seyfried says taking time for herself feels ‘selfish’ as a mom of two—here’s why it’s actually essential

Amanda Seyfried recently opened up about the delicate balance of motherhood and self-care, sharing how making time for herself can sometimes feel “selfish.” “When [the kids] are at school actually, I always kind of get something out of all the time that I have,” she told PEOPLE at a recent event. As a mom to daughter Nina, 7, and son Thomas, 4, with husband Thomas Sadoski, she knows firsthand how difficult it can be to prioritize personal time.

Related: This is what moms get wrong about self-care, according to a therapist

“Like when I’m feeding, I’m listening to a book on tape,” Seyfried said, referencing the animals she cares for on her farm. “So it feels like it’s selfish time, but really I’m feeding, so it’s still busy, it’s work.” But even amid the busyness of life, she’s found small ways to reclaim moments for herself.

“In the morning, when they wake up, I’ll sit and crochet while they eat their breakfast, watch Bluey, whatever they end up doing before school,” she shared. “But when they’re at school, yes, I have time.”

For Seyfried, self-care often looks like simple, quiet activities that recharge her spirit. “I sit and I crochet, or I go to the gym in the barn, or I go out to coffee with a fellow parent or a friend upstate. I get a lot of alone time on a train when I go to the city. If I have to go to the city, I take the train. And I get like an hour and 40 minutes of alone time each way. And I’m always crocheting. Knitting, crocheting, that’s my lifestyle.”

Related: Self-care looks different for everyone and that’s OK

While Seyfried’s story reflects a common struggle many moms face, it’s also a reminder: taking time for yourself isn’t just okay—it’s essential.

Too often, moms neglect their own needs, viewing self-care as indulgent or unnecessary. But this challenge goes deeper than packed schedules—it’s rooted in societal beliefs about motherhood. Historically, the role of mothers has been idealized as selfless caregivers who sacrifice their own well-being for their families. These deeply ingrained expectations often make self-care feel like a luxury rather than a necessity, fostering guilt when moms attempt to prioritize their needs.

Adding to this, structural barriers—like limited affordable childcare, lack of workplace flexibility, and insufficient community support—compound the issue. Moms are left to shoulder the immense responsibility of parenting largely on their own, making it even harder to carve out time for themselves. These systemic challenges send an implicit message: mothers should put everyone else first, no matter the cost to their own health and happiness.

But as Seyfried’s experience shows, even small moments of joy—whether it’s crocheting, grabbing coffee with a friend, or listening to an audiobook while multitasking—can make a big difference. These moments aren’t selfish; they’re the foundation for showing up as your best, most present self for your kids and family.

Moms, let’s take a page from Seyfried’s book and embrace the power of those quiet, restorative moments. Because when you take care of yourself, you’re not just doing it for you—you’re doing it for the people who count on you every day.