Allison Holker Says It's 'Been a Challenging Year' but She Wants to 'Celebrate Life' for Husband tWitch

"Sometimes I'm just really joyous and happy and then other times I'm really angry and sad," the dancer said during an appearance on 'The Jennifer Hudson Show'

<p>Michael Rowe/Getty</p> Stephen "tWitch" Boss and Allison Holker Boss

Michael Rowe/Getty

Stephen "tWitch" Boss and Allison Holker Boss

Allison Holker Boss is speaking openly about having good and bad days since her husband Stephen "tWitch" Boss' death.

Allison, 36, stopped by The Jennifer Hudson Show for an episode airing Tuesday alongside her fellow So You Think You Can Dance judges JoJo Siwa and Maksim Chmerkovskiy.

Admitting it's been a "very challenging year," Allison told host Hudson, 42, "[I'm] full of very convoluted feelings and conflicting emotions where sometimes I'm just really joyous and happy and then other times I'm really angry and sad, and full of all these different confusing feelings that are all at the same time."

"Then I decide at the end of the day for my children and myself that I'm going to make sure I choose the right energy for myself. So I choose love and joy, and to remember him as the amazing human that he is and celebrate him with my kids," she continued. "And still celebrate life because I feel like there's so much purpose and love out there for us to experience."

The dancer used to make appearances on the talk show alongside her late husband "tWitch," who died by suicide at age 40 on Dec. 13, 2022.

Related: Cat Deeley Says New SYTYCD Judge Allison Holker Is 'Not Afraid to Talk About' Late Husband tWitch (Exclusive)

"This place for me, this place is like home," she shared of returning to the show again following his death.

Allison shares daughters Weslie, 15, and Zaia, 3, and son Maddox, 7, with the beloved Ellen DeGeneres Show deejay turned executive producer.

While speaking to PEOPLE last year, Allison revealed it was the simple moments she missed the most with tWitch. "Stephen would hold my back every time I walked past him," she said of them cooking dinner together after a busy day at work.

"We'd have so many random conversations, and there was so much laughter," the TV host continued of their family dinners. "Our love was so real and so loud. We always told people our house was like a choreographed dance."

<p>Chris Millard/Warner Bros.</p> Allison Holker Boss on 'The Jennifer Hudson Show'

Chris Millard/Warner Bros.

Allison Holker Boss on 'The Jennifer Hudson Show'

Related: Allison Holker Enjoys Family Night Out with All Three Kids at Kung Fu Panda 4 Premiere — See the Cute Photos!

She added of her late husband, "No one had any inkling that he was low. He didn't want people to know. He just wanted to be everyone's Superman and protector."

The couple met on the set of SYTYCD in 2010, before marrying three years later. Last month, Allison shared that she was back on the set of the Fox reality competition series as a season 18 judge after her return to the show was announced in December 2023.

She’ll follow in her late husband’s footsteps, as he previously appeared as a judge in seasons 15 and 17.

<p>Amy Sussman/Getty </p> Allison Holker Boss and her three children: (L-R) Zaia, Maddox and Weslie

Amy Sussman/Getty

Allison Holker Boss and her three children: (L-R) Zaia, Maddox and Weslie

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“Truly grateful .. 2024!” Allison previously wrote on Instagram alongside a Reel featuring her doing a dance in an all-red ensemble. “SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE @danceonfox ❤️❤️ honored and blessed!! Can’t wait for you to all experience what we have been working on!!! An absolute dream to be back HOME!! 😍😍 who’s excited #sytycd.”

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