Yahoo Lifestyle 42 Tweets From Women In 2024 That Made Me, A Fellow Woman, Laugh So Hard I Legit Struggled To Breathe
If there's one thing I know, it's that women are some of the funniest beings on the internet (and also the planet). So here are 43 of the funniest things women tweeted in 2024:
Make sure to follow all these funny ladies on Twitter!
1.
writing is so funny it’s like “this is my favorite thing to do in the world and my dream” “okay then do it right now” “no thanks I would rather do literally anything else”
— Alexandra Petri (@petridishes) October 10, 2024
2.
ever since i was a little kid i knew that i wanted an email to find me well
— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) October 15, 2024
3.
My therapist always starts our session with “How are you?” and I always say “I’m good!” and then spend the next hour talking about how I am decidedly Not Good.
— Jamie (@spacej_me) October 15, 2024
4.
my ex was not attractive enough for me to have all this trauma
— divya (@certifiedbkl) October 21, 2024
5.
"i'm a top" "i'm a bottom" okay well i'm just a bill yes i'm only a bill and i'm sitting here on capitol hill
— text TALIA to 30201 (@taliaswlcek) October 22, 2024
6.
if i leave a pimple alone it will probably go away in a few days but if i pick at it i can rip off layers of my skin and leave a scar that will last for weeks and weeks!!! which one do you think i will choose
— mar (@itsmariannnna) October 22, 2024
7.
— Alison (@TradWife2049) October 21, 2024
8.
Caesar was in his bag when he made that salad, chile.
— jaya. (@jayacancook) October 21, 2024
9.
yeah I may be single but at least I don’t have to say “my vote is cancelling out my boyfriends vote”
— Samantha Bush (@stillonzoloft) October 29, 2024
10.
Confession: when I was a kid playing Oregon Trail sometimes I'd kill three, four buffalo at a time even though I knew there was no way I could carry it all back to my wagon. I just did it for the thrill.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) October 30, 2024
11.
and you used to have to wear a jacket over your halloween costume because it used to be cold in october pic.twitter.com/RVvaP0alsA
— party mom (@fifimcfae) October 31, 2024
@fifimcfae / 20th Century Fox / Via Twitter: @fifimcfae
12.
sometimes I miss tumblr because I just know this picture would’ve done NUMBERS on there pic.twitter.com/aBbAY6mglP
— laura ☆ (@midnightstaylor) November 5, 2024
@midnightstaylor / Universal Music Group / Via Twitter: @midnightstaylor
13.
My zoomer girlfriend was saying that she thinks Chapel Roan's music is too baby queer and I as a queer elder had to remind her that back in my day if we wanted representation in pop music we only had Adam Lambert
— KNIFE ANGEL (mouse infestation arc) (@godlovesgoths) November 5, 2024
14.
if RFK bans diet coke, i will make jan 6 look like a girl scout meeting.
— The Ginger Swindler (recovering sixers fan) (@lilydsmith) November 14, 2024
15.
my bf’s friend trying to have a civil and intellectual conversation about the election: “i found it surprising and concerning that so many women voted for him”me after 3 vodka lemonades: “it’s because a lot of illiterate bitches hate themselves for being a woman”
— awalmartparkinglot ✨🪩🕺🏼🖤 (@awalmartparking) November 10, 2024
16.
"Taylor ruined football" good I hope she ruins everything men love I hope she burns it all to the ground
— Vee 🤍 (@braidedfolklore) November 10, 2024
17.
I put my daughter to bed an hour ago and she's just come down and asked me if cats have shoulders
— Amy (@queenofaerobics) November 19, 2024
18.
i hold extremist political views such as "people should have their basic needs met" and "war crimes are bad" and "we should not accelerate the apocalypse for the profits of a few oil companies"
— 0livia 🎥 (Free 🇵🇸🇱🇧🇸🇩) ⚢☭ (@0liviaolive) November 19, 2024
19.
They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat
— Thee Aries (@GiftedAsia) December 4, 2024
20.
as someone who’s extremely type b, making plans with my type A friends be feeling like I’m about to link up with my parole officer or some shit
— Aisha (@aishadahira) December 4, 2024
21.
have you tried watching the news https://t.co/39Z22qV8tO
— Janel Comeau (@VeryBadLlama) December 2, 2024
22.
good taste can only be developed as a result of early access to the internet and childhood neglect
— bee ✧⋆ (@apiculaee) September 30, 2024
23.
when you can’t remember if you took your meds so you start opening the pill bottle to see if the experience feels familiar enough to have happened recently
— latke (@latkedelrey) September 17, 2024
24.
me watching any reality tv show: what type of PTO do y'all got
— . (@kingbealestreet) October 2, 2024
25.
My kid said all moms are body builders cause you literally build bodies so I bumped up his allowance.
— @itssherifield (@itssherifield) October 1, 2024
26.
when i’m president, i will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm
— taylor garron (@taylorgarron) September 17, 2024
27.
charli xcx is short for charles xavier charles xavier
— Rebecca Alter (@ralter) August 27, 2024
28.
I love being a woman in male dominated fields (commitment issues) (avoidant) (frequent sayer of “why do u turn everything into a big deal. relax”)
— spidey (@imaliabilitty) August 12, 2024
29.
when my hair looks like shit please keep in mind that’s happening in a feminist way
— jo (@cowboypraxis) August 12, 2024
30.
no worries if not pic.twitter.com/OlZYBpaj8e
— erika (@yeeeerika) December 10, 2024
Twitter: @yeeeerika / Jim Henson
31.
The person who decided that Microsoft Office would be a subscription is going to such a deep part of hell that the devil only yells down there.
— Brown Butter Evangelist 🍉 (@krysilove) August 12, 2024
32.
trauma is so silly like wow something upset me so badly as a child that it has warped my entire perception of life every day following it??? ur telling me my brain can’t realize it wasn’t my fault and live a normal life now??? I gotta be haunted by it forever??????
— Taylor Nicole Dean (@taylorndean) August 6, 2024
33.
Why does every single day cost $300
— party gets me wetter☆ (@mainbitchclique) August 6, 2024
34.
My child said she wanted to be like me so she put my glasses on top of her head and walked around saying “where are my glasses?!” I feel attacked
— Lottie-pop 🍭 (@Lottie_Poppie) August 6, 2024
35.
accidentally became important at work n its ruining my life
— kanoa (@ih4tedrugs) July 30, 2024
36.
Nobody cheats like skinny guys. Those pencils wanna write in every book.
— ainaa (@nvmalaina) July 31, 2024
37.
I have access to unlimited carbon neutral AI. it’s called my imagination. I can make spongebob sing anything up there
— Pearl Rose (@hipearlrose) July 25, 2024
38.
My clothes are looser after a week in Italy and great news, this just means all I need is to quit my job, walk 25,000+ steps a day in 95 degree heat, have no domestic responsibilities at all, and also access to an EU regulated food supply. Sustainable changes.
— laureneahmed.bsky.social or laureneahmed 🧵 (@realgirl_fieri) July 25, 2024
39.
why do finance men wear backpacks. What's inside there. The money???
— delia (@delia_cai) July 24, 2024
40.
just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some fucking math problem
— Caitie (@hammlittle) July 13, 2024
41.
The 1700s popped off with “You forget yourself” it’s such a polite and classy way of telling someone to back it up bitch cause ur not the one u aint no diva
— Keara Sullivan (@superkeara) July 17, 2024
42.
I’m working on it https://t.co/tDgJ9QXF0e
— Ted (@Tedoffthegrid) December 10, 2024
Here's to more hilarious tweets by women in 2025! And while you're here:
19 Tweets By Women That Made Me, A Fellow Woman, Laugh So Hard I Forgot My Own Name
18 Tweets By Women This Week That Made Me, A Fellow Woman, Laugh So Hard I Started Gasping For Air
29 Tweets By Women That Made Me, A Fellow Woman, Laugh So Hard I Peed A Little
23 Tweets By Women This Week That Made Me Laugh So Hard, It Wiped My Memory Of The Past Two Weeks
