28 Of The Most Chaotic, Unhinged, And Honestly Disturbing Posts Ever Shared In Mommy Facebook Groups

1.This poster who should've kept that ish to themselves:

"This is the most uncomfortable thing I've read in a pregnancy group"

2.This diarrhea-dress dyer:

Mom's child had a "blowout" on her floral dress, and Mom didn't want to use bleach because it would ruin the pattern, so she smeared the remainder of the poo over the rest of the dress and then washed it, and now it's ecru instead of ivory

3.This parent who wants to put their 2-year-old in a self-defense class:

Mom's message on Facebook saying she's looking for a boxing or self-defense class for her 2-year-old; says she doesn't condone violence but he's always getting hit by his cousin and he just sits there, and parents and grandparents don't do anything

4.These garlic oil lovers:

Person says "antibiotics this young might have a long-term effect on the baby" and "I use ear oil bought from sprouts, which has garlic oil as an anti-inflammatory" and another says they try not to give antibiotics after learning about natural healing

5.This parent who is making their 7-year-old pay off their ER visit:

Payment plan for child's "totally unavoidable ER visit" turned into a board game drawing; balance: $538

6.The poster that definitelyyyy gave TMI:

"Like do our nipples just all of a sudden go numb to prepare for nursing our babies???"

7.This bad mom who at least knows she's being a bad mom...but yikes:

Mom asking where to get her 11-year-old with "hairy legs" and "bushy eyebrows" can get groomed to look more like her friends on Facebook, even though the daughter says she's not bothered by how she looks and doesn't want help

8.This anti-vitamin household:

"My husband and I are talking about having another baby; we've completely changed our lifestyle and do not want anything to do with prenatal vitamins or supplements; are there any 'super' foods I can eat" to replace them?

9.This parent of the year:

"This unschooling program is great."

10.This cheesy post:

"Has anyone made cheese from their own breastmilk?"

11.This person who was perhaps not prepared to be a parent:

Parent asks for a good boarding school because their kids have no respect for them and it's hard to take care of them while their father is away in the Marines, so they need to "get the punishments they deserve!!" with two angry emojis

12.This commenter who seems to be suggesting a child needs an exorcism if they have bad dreams:

"Eliminate all processed artificial foods and do a parasite/metal cleanse; also play Psalm 91 on loop, pray regularly"; if night terrors continue, "there's something opening demonic portal and/or you are not spiritually protected"

13.This person who is considering leaving their husband of six years because they didn't like their proposal:

"My husband proposed several times..."

14.This conspiracy theorist in the comments:

In response to comment about how everyone at Starbucks was wearing masks, person says "this is exactly what the government wants! Fear so we all go back to masks and indoors! All about control they are doing this not Canada!"

15.This absolutely heinous deal:

Looking for a live-in nanny to live in their "fully finished basement, high ceilings, with private kitchen and private bathroom"; work M–F about 3 hours a day for 8-month-old; basement rent of $1,500 a month will be deducted based on childcare provided

16.This medical expert:

"Pediatric chiropractic has helped my baby with her dairy intolerance so I can still EBF [do exclusive breastfeeding] and get rid of anything from my diet!"

17.This natural birth gatekeeper:

"I can't wait to do it again."

18.This person who wants to board her children:

Facebook question: "Ladies is there a 24-hour place I can leave my kids? I want to go out of country for 10 days and finances are not allowing us to travel together"

19.This concerning question asker:

"Smoking Cigarettes while pregnant..."

20.This chemtrail conspiracy spreader:

Person wonders if anyone in Canada has actually seen the forest fires; they live in northern Illinois and it's been "smoggy poor air quality" for 3 days but it doesn't smell like fire, more chemical, and they get a headache and wonder about the chemtrails

21.These petty parents in a Facebook photo war:

"I know it's OUR child, but this makes me feel pushed out."

22.This nightmare job posting:

Parent is looking for a M–F babysitter in their home for a 7-year-old, 7am–4pm, mid-Aug to Mid-May, $410/month, must be OK with cameras and pass a background check and drug test; says it's not for the "main earner" of a household, just for a "fun fund"

23.This concerning question:

Parent is looking for recommendations for a pediatrician who will remove the appendix of a newborn; their son is due Aug 10 and their pediatrician won't cooperate

24.This master chef:

Mom's placenta is in her Crock-Pot and she want to know what to expect from other moms who've eaten theirs 'cause it looks terrifying AF, and they tried to disguise it as a stew, but only "baby daddy and I are brave enough to try it"

25.This household that claims to be "nontoxic," but I really beg to differ:

They're looking for a "full of sunshine" helper/nanny a few days a week for their 3-year-old son and another due early Aug; they "keep an organic and nontoxic household" and can pay $20/hr for 8hr days 2–3 days/week; person must be "unjabbed"

26.This awful person who fits the "evil stepmother" trope:

"My husband's kid just spewed in my kitchen sink, he is 10; no matter how sick you are you don't spew in the kitchen sink. I'm absolutely enraged; not to forget I have a major germ phobia; how does. he not get that it's not OK"

27.This expecting mother who's refusing medical attention:

"single first-time Mom," 43, is going to do home birth unassisted and with no medical care "because I'm not a science experiment just because I am pregnant" seeks like-minded people and is trying to get a birth certificate once the child is born

28.Finally, this person with quite the birth plan:

Person wants to know if anyone gave birth in their camper; they'd love some tips and tricks 'cause they have a while, but they're a planner; "def looking at on demand water heaters"

H/T: r/ShitMomGroupsSay