"Take This With A Grain Assault" And 21 Other Hilarious English Mistakes That Had Me Rolling


washington is so urethral

I mean, to be fair there are a lot of waterways in that state.

u/Salazard260 / Via reddit.com


i hate grapes, they discuss me

Personally, I want to hear some grape conversations.

u/loopitout / Via reddit.com


selling a catholic converter

Catholic converter...you mean missionaries?

u/Tighnari / Via reddit.com


your mom is making eggs been a dick

Have you ever tried to poach an egg? It's not easy! So to be fair, the eggs definitely could have been a dick.

u/supermav27 / Via reddit.com


are you going to come save this damsel in this dress

I wonder what dress specifically they were picturing? I'm betting Cinderella's.

u/OmenLW / Via reddit.com


that's chimp change

Now I'm picturing a little chimpanzee bank teller. With one of those little green visors, y'know? Great mental image, tbh.

u/the_vince_horror / Via reddit.com


when i graduate i'm wanna be my class's valid victorian

My guess is they're not gonna hit that goal.

u/Miserable-Argument40 / Via reddit.com


closed due to personal circumcisions

Maybe they were going to a bris?

u/Franxp086 / Via reddit.com


standing ovulation

Followed a while later by a pregnant pause.

u/esketitty / Via reddit.com

10."Mismatched silverware"

i have a whole bunch of civil where

Somebody tell Mitch we found his forks.

u/CuteCanary / Via reddit.com


please use tongues to pick up pastries

I mean, one way to make sure that pastry is yours is to lick it.

u/zwiazekrowerzystow / Via reddit.com


call the corner not the police

Go stand in the corner and think about the mistake you made here.

u/CaptainOhMyCaptain1 / Via reddit.com


do you like your gastro astronomer

My kid's sick, I have to take them to the peach tree magician.

u/baba_oh_really / Via reddit.com


blubbery cheesecake

Maybe the cheese was upset about something?

u/fluffychonkycat / Via reddit.com


list of food says immigration crab

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled crustaceans.

u/xandor123 / Via reddit.com


i just wanna meet a female that can hold an enter lectual conversation with me

Good luck with that.

u/AvaTyler / Via reddit.com


universe city of my mind

I think it's safe to say that this person has not been to a real universe city.

u/1500sitalyman / Via reddit.com

18."Je ne sais quoi"

well mayonnaise is a frech invention so it does add some genius aque

Genius Aqua? My vote is for "Barbie Girl," but "Doctor Jones" is a pretty good song too.

u/deleted / Via reddit.com

19."Grain of salt"

take this with a grain assault

Help, this wheat is attacking me!

u/ShrekFather / Via reddit.com


it's called a double aunt andre you should've paid attention in english class

"Yeah, my dad has two sisters, weirdly they're both named Andre."

u/ardentghoul / Via reddit.com


and who said shivery is dead

It is a little cold in here.

u/Scrunch_ / Via reddit.com

22.And finally, here's one with a twist...the person actually saw the correct phrase and tried to incorrectly correct it:

someone saying it's spit and image instead of spitting image

But honestly, it's not like the term "spitting image" makes any sense anyway.

u/Any_Illustrator4699 / Via reddit.com

H/T r/BoneAppleTea