Not all relationships are meant to last. In fact, not everyone should be in a relationship at all.
Recently, we rounded up some wild and unhinged stories from Reddit, and the response from BuzzFeed community members was overwhelming. From the hilarious to the heartbreaking, these 15 breakup stories show that no matter what, relationships and compatibility are tough to navigate.
Here are some of the most absurd, shocking, and emotional replies, starting with the sillier, Seinfeld-esque grievances:
1."I was on a FaceTime call while he was cooking and asked him to show me what he was making. He flipped the camera to show him seasoning RAW CHICKEN just sitting in the sink next to dirty dishes!"
2."I have an ex who was a pathological liar. The lies included him being a bounty hunter, having a 9-year-old daughter who was kidnapped by the US government and thrown out of a helicopter, and that he lives in a tent outside because he paid for the property in full for his parents but chose to 'give them space.' I stayed hoping he'd just start telling the truth eventually, but I broke up with him for good after he killed off the daughter."
"Later, he told me his mom died and he was grieving and needed me. But my mom used the post office his mom worked at, so apparently USPS employs ghosts now."
3."In middle school, my girlfriend took a dump at a local swimming area in the water from a bridge as a joke. The turd floated. I’m not gonna put my lips on a free-pooper."
4."He was just very moist. He'd sweat profusely every time we were intimate and slobbered all over me when he kissed me. And he ALWAYS had to be on top, so it was like I was getting rained on."
5."She always chewed with her mouth open. No grown adult should be doing that."
6."I went to his place for the first time and saw mold on the bottom of the fridge, in the bathroom, and in the ceiling. He felt it was his landlord's issue and didn't even try to clean it."
7."We'd just started dating, and he was low on money and going through a divorce. I invited him up for a romantic weekend, paid for a hotel room and food, helped him with gas money, and even gave him some grocery money for the next week. It was all my treat, and I didn't ask for repayment. When he got home, he had the absolute audacity to text me that I wasn't responsible with money."
8."I came home to him getting railed by a dude he swore he hadn't been flirting with when I confronted him about texts I found. I knew then it was time to go!"
9."We were married for three miserable years. He stopped working, so I was supporting the household and coming home to a bad attitude. One day, we went out and I ordered a burrito with red salsa instead or green. He ate my red salsa burrito, and that was my last straw. I asked him to move out that evening. I've been happy ever since."
Here are some of the more shocking, Silence of the Lambs-adjacent stories:
Content note: Mentions of emotional abuse.
10."My dad was increasingly sick when I was 19, so I was spending more time with my family. My boyfriend was annoyed at this and always started fights over it. One day he said, 'your dad is going to be dead soon, and then you'll need to rely on me. So I would fix my priorities if I were you.' I immediately dumped him."
"Two years later, I was able to donate a kidney, so my dad is still with us."
11."When we were 18, he called his younger cousin hot."
12."We were at a party, and one of our friends who had recently been diagnosed with cancer was sharing his experience with chemo. My then-girlfriend interrupted him and said, 'oh come on, it’s not that big of a deal. We all have cancer. Moles are usually cancer. Look, I’ve probably had cancer in all these places on my arm where I had moles removed.'"
13."I left when my boyfriend started saying racist stuff. I never saw THAT coming and was truly shocked. I wasn't about to waste my life on an intentionally ignorant fool."
14."He got annoyed and turned away from me in bed because I was crying from the pain of my kidney infection. I don't understand how people can be annoyed by their loved ones suffering from acute pain. I got out of that relationship pretty quick after that."
15."In my first real relationship, I wasn’t comfortable having sex with him yet. He told all of his friends and family that I abused him, when I really just didn’t put out."
Some replies have been edited for length and clarity.