11 Surprising Phrases That Make You 'Instantly Likable,' Psychologists Say
Being well-liked—or, relatedly, popular—isn't the be-all, end-all. However, being liked certainly has its perks, helping you to make stronger connections in your work and personal life.
Word choice speaks volumes when you're trying to connect with people.
"The right words can build rapport, foster trust, and make you more approachable, while poorly chosen words can unintentionally create distance or tension," says Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa, Ph.D., a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor. "Knowing how phrases make you sound also enhances emotional intelligence, helping you navigate social dynamics more effectively."
Likability and relationships are long games, and actions, habits and behaviors are important, too. However, using these 11 phrases that make you sound instantly likable when appropriate can help you up your friendliness factor.
Related: 22 Surprising Phrases That Make You 'Instantly Unlikable,' Psychologists Warn
11 Phrases That Make You 'Instantly Likable,' According to Psychologists
1. "How can I help?
This simple phrase is surprisingly underutilized. Dr. Lira de la Rosa says this phrase shows that you care about someone and are ready to lend a helping hand.
"It’s most effective when you have the capacity to follow through," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says. "Offering help you can’t provide may erode trust in relationships."
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2. "I’m so glad you brought that up."
If you want others to like you, center them with a phrase like this one recommended by Dr. Lira de la Rosa.
"This phrase acknowledges the other person’s contribution and fosters an open, collaborative environment," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says. "It's a great way to reinforce engagement, though it’s important to use it when the comment or question is actually relevant."
Related: If You Use These 8 Unexpected Phrases, You Have Higher Self-Confidence Than Most, Psychologists Say
3. "What do you think?"
People are more likely to warm up to people who are willing to give them the floor.
"It shows that you are open to collaborating and working together and value other people's input," says Dr. Holly Schiff, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist with South County Psychiatry. "This also encourages open dialogue and makes you seem approachable."
4. "That’s interesting. Tell me more about it."
Giving someone a compliment and an opportunity to speak more is a solid formula for sounding likable.
"This phrase shows genuine curiosity and encourages others to share their thoughts, which can make them feel valued," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says. "It’s best used when you truly want to learn more, as people can sense disinterest if it's not sincere."
5. "Can you explain why you think that?"
This question can help you remain in someone's good graces even during a disagreement.
"This phrase encourages open dialogue and a genuine willingness to understand different viewpoints, fostering a space for free-flowing insights," says Dr. Joel Frank, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist with Duality Psychological Services. "Authentic engagement is key to building deeper connections and promoting compassionate exchanges of ideas."
Dr. Frank says it's important only to pull this one out if you're genuinely interested in a person's answer.
Related: 15 Phrases To Disagree Respectfully, According to Psychologists
6. "I like your opinion. However..."
It's possible to respectfully disagree and remain well-liked. In fact, this phrase might up your likability factor—with the person you don't see eye to eye with.
"This phrase provides a healthy way to agree to disagree," says Dr. Cashuna (Shun) Huddleston, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist with New Way Psychological Services. "This statement shows that you can value and respect the other person's opinion despite differences that exist, which allows space for productive conversation."
As with several other phrases, Dr. Huddleston emphasizes the importance of meaning what you say, so only use this one if that rings true.
"Also, avoid this statement during emotional conversations as it can be perceived as dismissive and could escalate tension," she adds.
7. "You were right about..."
You don't have to be perfect to be well-liked. Acting like you're infallible can have the opposite effect.
"While admitting we were wrong can be challenging, it's a human experience," Dr. Frank says. "Sincere and thoughtful acknowledgment prevents feelings of patronization and encourages meaningful conversations and personal growth."
The other person might leave the conversation feeling as if they've found an honest person in this world.
Related: 11 Common Behaviors of Authentic People—and One Thing They *Never* Do, According to Therapists
8. "That's a great idea."
A little sincere flattery is a surefire way to make friends (or at least make positive connections).
"Compliments boost confidence and morale and create a positive atmosphere," Dr. Schiff says. "It also encourages creativity and makes people feel more comfortable sharing ideas or pitching their thoughts without fear of judgment or harsh rejection and criticism."
9. "I appreciate you."
This one is becoming more common in the workplace, and that's not bad.
"Expressing appreciation for a person, not just their actions, makes the compliment feel more personal and meaningful," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says. "It works well in close relationships but can feel overly familiar in more formal settings."
Related: 11 Signs You Might Be 'Socially Inept,' According to Psychologists
10. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you."
While interrupting someone is generally frowned upon, this phrase puts you on the path to a speedy recovery.
"Being able to acknowledge when you’ve made a mistake shows self-awareness and thoughtfulness," Dr. Huddleston says.
11. "I understand where you are coming from."
Empathy for the win.
"You are making them feel heard and validated," Dr. Schiff says.
This phrase works when it's actually...valid.
"If you haven't experienced a similar situation or cannot genuinely empathize with where they are coming from, be cautious using this because it can come off as patronizing," Dr. Schiff warns.
Related: 16 Things People With High Emotional Intelligence Often Say, According to Psychologists
How To Come Off as More Likable, More Often
1. Showcase your active listening skills
Most people appreciate being heard and understood—so listen. You can show you heard a person by asking follow-up questions.
"By engaging with their ideas and asking thoughtful questions, you show genuine interest in what they have to say," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says.
Related: Want to Display Your Active Listening Skills? Try Using These 33 Powerful Phrases
2. Use inclusive language
You don't have to be an athlete to make work or life a team effort.
"Words like 'we' or 'let's' create a sense of shared experience and teamwork and can make others feel part of a group or community," Dr. Lira de la Rosa says.
3. Mind your tone
It's not always what you say but how you say it.
"Managing your tone is seen as more attractive and impressive," Dr. Huddleston says. "If you’re looking for longevity in relationships or to boost your social status, being able to lower or moderate your pitch helps facilitate those connections."
4. Smile
Words say a lot, but not everything.
"This is a staple to being likable," Dr. Huddleston says. "Smiling conveys happiness, approachability and a positive sense of self. Smiling even affects your tone of voice and disposition."
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Sources:
Dr. Ernesto Lira de la Rosa, Ph.D., a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor
Dr. Holly Schiff, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist with South County Psychiatry
Dr. Joel Frank, Psy.D., a licensed psychologist with Duality Psychological Services
Dr. Cashuna (Shun) Huddleston, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist with New Way Psychological Services