Defining desire

First, a lesson in desire (now why didn't they teach us this stuff at high school?). Derived from the Latin words for "lust" and "to please", the term libido was hurled into the vernacular by the Elvis of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud. He defined it as psychic energy associated with sexual urges. Since then, psychologists have given the word plenty of airtime - linking it to everything from the reason babies are so happy suckling on their mums' breasts to a defining factor in personality formation.

Sex therapist Dr Gabrielle Morrissey says that a healthy sexual interest range is twice weekly. That's the number of times you manage to get fresh (with yourself or a partner), as opposed to simply daydreaming about it. But before you start counting back, some of us can go weeks or even months without giving sex much thought at all. You probably know when things aren't right, but narrowing down the issues can be tricky. "Your sex drive is like a big pizza, and just one slice is hormones," says Dr Claudia Panzer, a female sexual dysfunction specialist. Other influential factors are physical and mental health, lifestyle, and the shape of your relationship, and mood killers like depression, stress, the pill and some antidepressants (more on these later).
What determines a woman's average level of lust is in part her hormones.

"Testosterone plays an important role in female sex drive," says Dr Morrissey. "People have different levels of hormones at different times of their lives, and everyone has a different chemical make-up. Some will be Samanthas because they often and easily feel physically turned on, whereas others are Charlottes, who don't have such an intense hormonal cocktail." Bottom line is there's no point comparing yourself to other women, as "normal" doesn't apply to libido.


The timing

This personal "cocktail of hormones" is a stronger libido determinant than age or lifestyle factors, according to Dr Morrissey - although there are times when we're more likely to experience spikes. A study published in the journal Human Reproduction found that couples made the beast with two backs 26 per cent more often during the six most fertile days of a woman's cycle (the day of ovulation and five days beforehand). And this is thought to be nature's way of nudging us towards procreation.

In Joan Sauer's study, Sex Lives of Australian Women, released this year, 27 per cent of respondents said that this was true, but 33 per cent reported PMH (premenstrual horniness) - feeling flushed with desire right before their period.

The other big natural high is during the first year of a new hook-up. A study in Human Nature into the sexual appetites of 573 people reported that a woman's desire dipped after 12 months of being in a new relationship, but not if she was living separately from her partner. The reason, at least for the post-one-year drop, is evolutionary: women crave sex in the beginning to create a bond, but feel less motivated to change partners once they're secure, says study author Dr Dietrich Klusman. Chemistry is also at play. Initial infatuation triggers extra dopamine, says Laura Berman, author of The Passion Prescription: Ten Weeks to Your Best Sex - Ever! . This brain chemical fuels your libido. But when the novelty wears off, so too does the dopamine boost.

Times when your libido is more likely to slump are perimenopause, menopause and beyond; and when you've got young children around, which affects sleep and energy (and when, quite frankly, sex is not a priority). "Libido is evolutionary advantageous when you're healthy," says Dr Mark Donohoe, a Sydney GP. "At times when your health is sufficient to sustain a pregnancy, the body turns its responses on."


Getting in the mood

A key component driving your love machine is the hormone testosterone. As a woman, you don't have enough juice to grow a goatee, but the amount you do have plays a role in your randiness. Half of this hormone is produced in your ovaries, while the other half is produced in the adrenal glands (which is why stress levels come into the mix). When we're turned on, the brain sends a signal to the ovaries to crank up testosterone production. This initiates blood flow to your lady bits, making them plump and sensitive. Lubrication follows and, if you're lucky, one hell of an orgasm. As well as determining how much you want sex, testosterone also has a hand in often you come. A Canadian study published in Hormones and Behavior found that women with higher amounts of testosterone climax more often than those with lower levels of the hormone.

One of the materials needed to produce testosterone is DHEA, which is secreted by our adrenal glands. DHEA levels drop a lot faster in women than they do in men, starting at age 30, says Queensland naturopath Jennifer Jefferies. The other major tax on DHEA levels is stress, which burns out the adrenals. "In my practice, with 60 to 70 per cent of women who show up with low libido I'll find it's directly linked to adrenal burnout," says Jefferies. "Libido is often the first thing affected in women who are stressed. It's your body's way of saying, 'I haven't got time to make babies, so I'm going to shut down for a while so I can just cope with what's going on.'" The wonky diet that often goes hand-in-hand with skipped gym classes and caffeine fixes during times of stress means it's all too easy to feel less frisky.

Sometimes it's life's rough patches that contribute to a sex-drive nosedive. According a British survey, two million people said money troubles have cost them a night of passion in the bedroom; with cash-flow concerns twice as likely to affect a woman's libido than a man's. "Any stress or pressure, whether it's performance anxiety or financial anxiety, produces tension that creates stress hormones. These prevent the easy flow of sex hormones and disrupt the feedback loop between the brain and the genitals," explains Dr Morrissey.

The final slice is your headspace. Let's face it, reaching orgasm requires concentration and the ability to let go. So it follows that if you're anxious about anything - the three kilos you've gained or your sick mum, it stands to reason that it gets more difficult to switch off and get in the zone. "If you're not able to quiet your mind, you can't be present in the moment, you can't connect with your partner, feel desire or achieve orgasm - it's practically impossible," says Berman. Think of it like shutting down your computer. "Research shows that women are better multi-taskers and the hemispheres of their brain communicate really effectively, which is a good thing, until it comes to unwinding, relaxing and shutting everything off in order to get turned on," says Dr Morrissey. "A woman needs to shut down all the separate computer programs in order to reboot her sex drive."


Get cooking

Now that you know the recipe to a hot libido pie, there's a lot of things you can do to amp up its ingredients. Dr Morrissey says you need to take the time to assess yourself - physically, emotionally and mentally - and you'll be able to see what might be holding you back.

If you can't pin your sex drive slump on stress, problems with your partner, a shitty diet, or feeling unhappy with your physique, head to your GP for a hormone test (which is relatively inexpensive) or a referral to a specialist. Also, ask your doctor to check your contraception brand. In the past decade, researchers have found that hormonal contraceptives - including the pill, the Patch and the vaginal ring - can dampen how often women want, think about, and respond to sexual stimulation. Keep in mind that fluctuation is par for the course: sometimes your libido's firing and ready to part-tay, and others it needs some quiet time in the corner. Here's what to do...

WHEN IT'S STRESS
Focus on supporting the adrenal glands so you're not letting those lovin' chemicals (DHEA and testosterone) suffer. "Essential nutrients to protect the adrenal glands and nervous system from the ravages of stress are B5, B6, C and magnesium. Herbs that target the areas are withania, Siberian ginseng and passionflower," says Sydney naturopath Siobhan Jordan. Foods high in B vitamins include bananas, turkey and honey. Remember that sleep is often the antidote to stress and too little snooze time is a libido dampener.

WHEN YOU'RE WIRED
Chill out with meditation. "Women who meditate regularly and have a generally calm outlook have higher libido. Meditation also raises our levels of DHEA," says Dr Morrissey. Reconnecting with your body can be as simple as having a warm bath with essential oils before bed to help you feel good. Berman also recommends audio therapy three times a week. "It sounds corny, but just lying in bed listening to a CD of nature sounds - waterfalls, birds chirping, wind in the trees - is really good for shutting out the noise in your head."

WHEN YOU'RE NOT CONNECTING WITH HIM
Toss the TV. An Italian study into television habits and sex lives found that couples with sets in their bedrooms had half the amount of nookie as those without one. And make an effort to hit the hay at the same time. As Dr Morrissey points out, "The number of times that couples will come to me and say they have a libido problem and I find out she goes to bed at 11pm and he doesn't crawl in until 2am... Well, that's not only a timing issue, but they don't feel connected either."

Don't be tempted into thinking a few pinot noirs will get you both in the mood. A glass or two of red is fine and will lift libido and relax you, but any more and your body won't be responsive because alcohol shuts down the loop between your brain and your genitals.

WHEN YOUR BATTERIES ARE LOW
"Your hormones are like a key and the receptors' sites are like a lock. When you're healthy, in a well-hydrated state and your body is functioning at its best, your libido will also work at its best. Messages will be received better, and the receptor sites will be more easily unlocked," explains personal trainer Andrew Cate.

Blood flow to your map of Tassie can be vastly improved by doing just 30 minutes of exercise a day, four times a week, says Cate. Working out also increases your endorphin levels and gets you in touch with your body. Try fast walking, slow jogging, cycling or swimming - "anything that gets your heart pumping," he adds.
Avoid high-fat and processed foods, and opt for those that replenish your system. Also make sure you're consuming enough zinc and iodine, two of the most common mineral deficiencies affecting energy.

WHEN YOU'RE NOT SURE WHAT YOU WANT
Double-click the mouse. Sex therapist Dr Rosie King believes lack of knowledge and acceptance of your privates inhibits libido. As she told ABC: "It's said that 99 per cent of men masturbate and one per cent lie.
Now, that means that if they started masturbating at 12, [by age 18] they've had six years of practice at learning about their bodies, at fine-tuning arousal, at learning how to make themselves climax. Now, maybe about 30 per cent of girls have discovered masturbation by the time they're 20. We have this ridiculous myth in society that men reach their sexual peak at 18 and women reach theirs at 35. That's women playing catch-up."

Sexecrises: moves to get your blood pumping to all the right places.

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