Be friends

In one of the most famous moments of his election day victory speech, Obama said, "I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last 16 years, the rock of our family, the love of my life, the nation's next first lady, Michelle Obama." Those words - and their body language - scream romance and respect. "You can tell by the way he looks into her eyes, touches her, and kisses her that they have a lot of romantic love for each other," says Dr Terri Orbuch, a marriage therapist and research professor at the University of Michigan, US. "But they're also bonded by friendship, which is crucial, especially for women, since we tend to bond through talking."

Be available

Michelle has said that regular date nights help make their marriage click. And if the campaign was any indication, leading the US won't get in the way - Obama even left
the campaign for a night on their wedding anniversary and flew to Chicago to take Michelle to one of their favourite Italian restaurants. He also offered this advice on
how to keep a marriage on sound footing: "Never get so mad with them you forget why you love them."

Be a team

The Obamas carefully weighed how a run for the presidency would affect the lives of everyone in their family and then made the choice together. "Big decisions need to be joint decisions," Dr Orbuch says. "You need to communicate with each other about fears, concerns and ambitions, or one of you is likely to end up unhappy."

Be affectionate

The Obamas are clearly PDA proponents - they regularly kiss, hold hands and fist-bump. And that's good, says Dr Orbuch, especially during stressful times. "Touch is calming and important for psychological and physical wellbeing."

When all else fails, be funny

Before his speech at the 2004 Democratic National Convention, Obama confessed to butterflies. After a hug, Michelle quipped: "Just don't screw it up, buddy." He nailed the speech. "Humour is a great way to diffuse stress," Dr Orbuch says. "Sometimes we forget that relationships are supposed to be fun."