The kitchens that were once foreign territory to our dads are now places where many of us have been spotted in full apron regalia, grilling salmon and chopping, you know, vegies. And as it happens, a bloke's relationship with cuisine and all its accoutrements reveals a lot. "If you watch someone eat, you'll learn everything you need to know about them," says chef Anthony Bourdain, author of Kitchen Confidential. For insight into the most puzzling male food habits, I checked with a shrink, some food pros, and a couple of regular guys. What they said may surprise you.

Q: So, what's up with the barbie lust?
A: We love playing with fire, OK? "You see this pattern in young boys," says Dr Leon Rappoport, psychology professor. We like to see what's going on when we cook. "With a flame, you can see and feel the heat; there's no mystery to it," says David Joachim, of The Tailgater's Cookbook.

Q: Why do men go for extra-spicy curries, and "challenging" foodstuffs?
A: When it comes to the bizarre, like chicken feet, there's a good chance it'd never be eaten if groups of guys didn't goad one another. In a social setting, "consuming an unusual or 'dangerous' item proves one's nerve/manhood/courage to others or to oneself," says Dr Rappoport. Plus, we believe what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, which is why we'll order blowfish sushi or pour on jalapeno sauce until it scorches our eyeballs. "Spicy foods elicit the same response as danger, causing the brain to release endorphins, which is pleasurable," says Joachim. "And, like riding a roller coaster, your body feels the rush but your mind knows you're ultimately safe." Which makes it sound a lot less macho.



Q: Why do guys always leave utensils and mess everywhere?
A: We approach cooking from an angle we can understand. It's not just making dinner, it's a construction project. We want to see everything laid out like we're assembling an Ikea desk, and then lord triumphant over the shambles as if admiring the wake behind our speedboat - a testament to the work that went into the meal. Of course, that's not the only reason we don't hang around to cuddle the dirty dishes after having our way with them. "The average guy is only trying to reach the finish line," says Joachim.'''

Q: If a guy is a picky eater, does that mean he's not so adventurous in bed?
A: I say, "Passion for food means passion for life". And, ahem, I'll try anything. But Joachim gives picky eaters the benefit of the doubt - something about unleashing their inner wildness in private. Rappoport points out that, apart from food, drink and incidental oral pacifiers like cigarettes and gum, the only things we willingly take in our mouths are body parts of sex partners. Where's he going with this? (Stay with me here.) "Someone who's experienced anxiety about eating, which may go back to difficulties breastfeeding... [may] associate oral intimacies with anxiety," Rappoport says. Or just heed the wisdom of our man's man, Bourdain: "If [he's] not willing to try new things... [he's] a bad guest, a bad traveller, and, most likely, bad in the sack."

Q: Why do men love knives so much?
A: "Because they're dangerous and empowering," Joachim says. You can mince a garlic clove with one as easily as you could, well, kill someone. It's the perfect multitasker. Who needs a Leatherman if you have a Wiltshire? "You can even open a bottle of beer with it," Joachim says. "That is gold for a guy."

Dev Sherlock writes and cooks in New York.