Sir Henry H Dale discovered in 1909 that an extract from the human pituitary gland could contract the uterus of a pregnant cat (who says science nerds don't get all the fun jobs?). He named this newfound hormone "oxytocin" after the Greek words for "quick" and "birth" - something high on the wish list of every expectant mother rolled into the delivery room. Since then, research has found that during labour our bloodstream is flushed with the stuff, and it helps women release milk for breastfeeding. It's also commonly given intravenously during childbirth to induce or speed up contractions. All mammals secrete the love-drug - dogs, wombats, orangutans, men. A dose of the stuff even gives lab rats a hard-on (which sends our minds to weird places), and this discovery has led scientists to looking at oxytocin's role in treating human erectile dysfunction.

Just like you, oxytocin is a talented multi-tasker. It wears two hats: hormone and neurotransmitter, entering the bloodstream while also travelling along nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord. It binds to receptors located throughout the body and influences physiology: when it's not regulating body temperature, wound healing, thirst and hunger, oxytocin combats stress in the body by lowering blood pressure, kicking stress hormone cortisol's arse and slowing down our breathing and heart rate. Dr Kerstin Uvnäs-Moberg, scientist at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden, and author of The Oxytocin Factor: Tapping the Hormone of Calm, Love, and Healing, explains that oxytocin has the reverse effect to fight-or-flight hormones - calling it the yin to cortisol's yang. In fact, one landmark UCLA study found that women respond to stress with a cascade of chemicals - not just fight-or-flight - that encourage us to make and maintain friendships with other women. In other words, when you've had a shitty day at work and hook up with your girlfriends for a 6pm beer to sound off, you release oxytocin in your body, which counters your stress and makes you feel calm again.

Since it all began with childbirth and breastfeeding, mothers were thought to have the oxytocin market covered, but recent research has focused on its effect on the behaviour of both sexes. Our psychological reaction, known as the "oxytocin response", is more complex and varies from one person to the next. And this is where it gets really interesting.

Seeing eye to O

"We are not born with the oxytocin response," explains Kuchinskas. "It develops during the first two years of life and is mostly a response to the way we are mothered." We have our very first taste of it when the hormone is passed to us via our mum's breast milk. But even if you weren't breastfed, your baby brain produced its own supply of oxytocin when your parents fussed over you. Kuchinskas believes our mother's mood during these formative moments has a life-long effect on our reaction to the brain's release of oxytocin. "Some of us might develop an oxytocin response only if nurturing or connection comes with some anger or drama," Kuchinskas says. For example, if Mum was anxious or stressed while nursing, you would have come to associate the spurt of oxytocin with that tension. "Others might have learned that any time you get close and open up, there's going to be trouble. So for some people, oxytocin triggers feelings of fear and withdrawal rather than a desire to get closer," she says. This certainly explains why, when we seek help for destructive relationships, psychologists are so interested in our mothers.

Those early years can also affect our ability to produce the hormone later in life. A study by the Emory University School of Medicine, US, found that women with a history of childhood abuse had lower levels of oxytocin than those with a stable, loving upbringing. Scores of studies suggest the cuddle hormone can help combat emotions such as shyness and anxiety, and a recent study in the Journal of Neuroscience suggests oxytocin could reduce fear. Brain scans were conducted on male subjects who had been administered with oxytocin as they looked at pictures of threatening faces (think Jack Nicholson in The Shining). The scans showed that the part of the brain that processes fear was less responsive than when the same images were viewed without oxytocin.

Like Posh and Becks, oxytocin and eye contact go hand in hand. In his own research, Dr Guastella found it almost doubles the amount of eye contact people make - a factor that's key to feeling close and connected to your friends, partner and family. And vital for resolving that fight you had last night over his Grand Theft Auto addiction. "Eyes are the communication focal point, they tell us other people's intentions and reactions to what we're doing or saying," Dr Guastella says. "Couples who are more easily able to focus on the good things in their relationship, and use less hostile language in an argument, generally show higher oxytocin levels, and use more eye contact." Dr Gemma O'Brien, a physiologist at the University of New England in Armidale, NSW, believes oxytocin is the reason couples in love spend hours gazing into each other's eyes. But there's more to the link than candlelit dinners. An Israeli study measuring oxytocin levels in pregnant women found that those with higher levels at the start of the pregnancy looked at their little ones for longer and more frequent periods, indicating a strong attachment. On the flipside, lack of eye contact is a key symptom of autism, leading scientists to look at oxytocin in their search for a treatment. And the connection doesn't just apply to people. A recent Japanese study found that owners of dogs get an oxytocin high when their four-legged friends eyeballed them. When they sniffed their behind? Not so much.

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