You have to confront a friend

She didn't wreck your dress or kiss your bloke, but she wasn't there when you needed her and it's been bugging you. Before you say anything, wait a week to make sure you're not being too sensitive. While your problem is important to you, sometimes - shocker! - you aren't the centre of everyone's universe, says Marla Paul, author of The Friendship Crisis. Make a "Maybe I'm too sensitive, but..." comment to lead into the conversation, and then ask what she thinks. Rather than an attack on your friend that could jeopardise your friendship, you have now made it a discussion about your feelings.

You need to buy a car

The first step in eliminating anxiety? Forget about the advertised price. The one thing to learn is the true market value for the car you want. This is what other people have paid for similar models in your area. Stick to that figure and you won't get taken for a ride (and we're not talking a test drive). To find the market value, go to a site like redbook.com.au. Shop around a lot and haggle like you mean it. Car salespeople will do all they can to ensure you don't walk out the door without a new set of wheels, so come armed with other great deals you've been offered.

You have to fire someone

Unless you have a heart so cold that puppies wouldn't melt it, you shouldn't relish an axe job. Your goal is to make it less bad. Sit with palms down on your lap to appear calm and confident, says Robert Buckman, author of How to Break Bad News: A Guide for Health Care Professionals. Ask for her take on her performance. If she admits it's been less than perfect, segue to, "That's how it looks to us." If she thinks she's corner-office material, bridge the gap with, "Sadly, it hasn't worked out that way." If tears flow, say "Obviously, this is distressing" - acknowledging emotions reduces resentment.

You're going to a party where you know no one

You think: they'll stare when I walk in, then laugh. The reality: if someone sees you they're not going to cack up. Entrances are tough, so tell yourself people are glad you're there. It makes you think positively, so you'll stand tall and smile, which makes people glad to see you, says Judy Ford, author of Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled and Independent. Once you're in, talk to the first person you see to become instantly connected. The longer you're silent, the more likely you'll end up a wallflower.


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