In real life, she's a clinical psychologist who counsels couples and singles having relationship and sexuality issues. "Relationships are fascinating," she says. "Particularly long-distance partnerships." Dr Coventry also specialises in relationships affected by infertility and miscarriage. Her clinic hours often extend way into the night - Coventry emails us advice at 11pm to help out WH readers.

Go viral

How do I tell a new partner I have herpes?
AJ, Launceston, Tas
The key is to be honest and confident. The best time to discuss an STI is when you start to think or talk about sex. Explain that you have to use condoms because you contracted herpes in the past, and that you need to avoid sex with an active outbreak because transmission risk is higher. Be informed as your partner may have thoughts, fears or misconceptions. Suggest seeing a GP for more info.

Poly love

What’s your opinion on open relationships?
SC, Brisbane, Qld
In my clinical experience an “open relationship” can only work if both partners set mutually agreed rules and that if either partner becomes uncomfortable it stops. Problems occur when a) one partner has agreed just to please the other and is hurt when it becomes a reality; and b) when one partner becomes emotionally involved with the “other” person and this has unexpected negative effects on the marriage. Think of your capacity to deal with the consequences before you indulge.

Please ex-plain

My partner has dinner (alone) with an ex-long-term partner once a month. Is this normal?
KM, Parramatta, NSW
It’s great your partner maintains positive relationships and although this relationship may be entirely platonic, his meeting alone with her suggests he still has a strong attachment to her, or that she may fulfil a need that he’s not giving your relationship a chance to meet. Dinner for three every so often is the go – if she’s so important to him it’d be great for you to know her.


Send your questions for Dr Traci Coventry here

Experts aren't able to answer questions personally. Not all questions will be selected for print.