Yahoo Lifestyle Debate: Should “I will stay slim” be added to your wedding vows?
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YES
JANE FLEMMING Former Australian Olympic track and field athlete, and sports commentator
“Marriage is a huge commitment involving serious promises, and all factors for a successful relationship should be considered, regardless of political correctness.
One of those commitments must surely be living for as long as possible? And ballooning out doesn’t help on this front. Being overweight or obese can lead to reduction in life expectancy, depression, increased heart disease risk...I could go on. So surely if you’re committing to marriage, part of that should also be promising to stay in good health for as long as possible.
Weight is controllable for most of us, so it isn’t beyond the realms of expectation that staying in shape and reaping the rewards also honours promises you make to your partner when you walk down the aisle: to be around, to be the best you can be, and to be the person they exchanged rings with on their wedding day.
Then there’s the issue of attractiveness. It’s un-PC to say it but, in most cases, you’re likely to be less attractive to your partner if you gain weight. Other contributors to appeal, like personal hygiene, self-esteem and engagement with your partner, should also be honoured. It’s about respecting the things that brought you together in the first place.”
NO
Associate Professor WENDY BROWN, Director of the Centre for Obesity Research and Education, Monash University
“Marriage is an institution based on love. Not health, nor appearance. It’s a contract between two people, promising to share their lives together through good times and bad. To request a person maintain the same weight across their whole lifetime is impractical and simply not feasible, especially during pregnancy and middle life.
If writing this requirement into a vow is about delivering a preventative health message, we’d have to be consistent and also require that our partner never take up smoking or drive too fast, always wear a hat and sunscreen, take daily Vitamin D and always participate in disease-screening programs. These things have not been suggested. So it’s likely that those suggesting this weight-maintenance vow simply do not want to be married to someone who’s fat.
And this reflects the stigmatisation and judgement that obese people experience. Would we ever argue that contracting a different appearance-altering illness, such as hair-loss or a skin condition, should be grounds for divorce? You could argue that the difference is that obesity is “preventable”. This is possibly true, but not always, and a lot of other diseases in the West are potentially preventable too. Why is obesity treated so differently?”
