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JASON GILMORE HAS SLEPT with six married women. The first was Abbey, a 25-year-old Nascar fanatic. The affair began innocently enough – they met at work, where he was in ad sales, and connected over a shared sense of humour. Then came Shannon, a department head at his office. She was a petite woman with a giant libido. There was also Linda, a fiery woman in her fifties with fake-red hair. That on-again, off-again fling lasted for years.
You may call Gilmore a sleazy opportunist. Nevertheless, we can potentially learn something from guys like him. So what did he have that the husbands of half a dozen women didn’t? “I cared enough to listen,” he says. “These women were alone. They may have been married, but if a woman is alone emotionally, she’s alone.”
He’s right. Research shows that the average woman’s cheating is sparked by marital unhappiness, not lust. In a 2011 Indiana University study, women who reported low relationship happiness were nearly three times as likely to cheat as contented women were. “Guys are more apt to seek purely physical, one-night-stand gratification,” says Dr Kristina Gordon, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Tennessee. “But women are more likely to cheat if they’re not satisfied with their marriage.” The differences don’t end there; the outcome of a woman’s straying can be more dramatic as well. “Often, the affair partner treats her well and she may realise what she’s missing in her marriage,” says Gordon. “In those cases, she might not regret it.”
With these revelations in mind, we checked in with Gilmore and other Lotharios so we could gauge our own marital blind spots. Then we filtered their insights, however tawdry, through our experts to find out how you can keep your girls out of their hands – and in your bed.
Photo by Shutterstock Nov 30, 2012