Twelve ways to be a better lover

The greater your focus, the better the sex

What's the best way to unlock a woman's wildest desires in bed? "Passion," said 42 per cent of the women we surveyed. "That means being in the moment and not being distracted," says US psychologist Dr Joel Block, the author of Secrets of Better Sex. "Sex is a conversation, and she doesn't want to feel like you wish you had your BlackBerry."

A woman takes attendance during sex in many ways, and the strongest signal you can send comes from your mouth. More than 90 per cent of women we surveyed said a man's primal panting turns them on. But use words over Tarzan grunts, if you can. "You want to reassure her: 'Do that more', 'That feels so good' or 'Oh, I love that'," says Dr Logan Levkoff, a US sexologist and the author of Third Base Ain't What It Used to Be. Beyond giving her a confidence boost, the extra sensory seduction intensifies the experience.

Nonverbal communication is important, too. Bursts of eye contact, lip nibbles and any other kind of physical or verbal communication shows her she's the one pushing your buttons, not some fantasy fembot in your head. If the soulful eye lock's not for you, bury your face in her neck, run the tip of your tongue from her collarbone to her earlobe and whisper why she's driving you crazy.

Feb 1, 2012