"There's a complex interplay of factors," says Hollonds. "Some people are very fearful they'll either become attached to someone who will ultimately reject them or they fear their partner will control them."

Be honest. "If you can own up to your fears, that's a really good start," reassures Hollonds. "Stay put and reflect on where you're at. And congratulate yourself for not running away. Don't feel pressured to move forward until you're ready, but resist the urge to run away when those fears come to the surface."

Talk it out. "Get some coaching on how you can make sense of it", advises Hollands. "It's actually better for you to stay where you are and try because if you move forward too soon, you're going to back off. Talking it through with someone who can help you understand what's going on can also add some reality to those fears."

Take small steps. "Don't try and be the big hero." cautions Hollonds. "She will have to understand some of your anxieties if it's going to be a genuine relationship. Start opening up to her.

"You'll either start to feel more confident, safer and less anxious as time goes on or you'll begin to get a sense that she's not the right one for you for sound reasons. You're testing out whether there's a solid basis for the relationship."

For more information, call Relationships Australia on (1300) 364 277. To book a live chat with a counsellor online, go to www.relationshiphelponline.com.au.