Follow these rules and you'll be sure to get a second:

Be great company

Maybe you were charming when you met her (you scored her number, after all) and maybe you're witty on the phone, but the real challenge is that first date.

"In the initial dating stages, everyone is on their best behaviour," says Tina Tessina, a psychotherapist and author of The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again (John Wiley and Sons).

"So if you do something that offends her even a little bit, she's going to wonder how much worse it'll be down the road."

Unfortunately, sometimes your best-intentioned behaviour sabotages you.

Here's how to avoid some surprising (and surprisingly common) mistakes:

You think you should: let her decide what to do.
You should: take charge.

Offer at least two options for plans so you're still asking for her input.

"Like it or not, taking the lead sends an evolutionary signal that you can take care of her and women evaluate men on their ability to lead and take care of them," explains Perry Buffington, author of Cheap Psychological Tricks for Lovers (Gramercy Books).

You think you should: be friendly to the waiter.
You should: not go over-board.

Don't blast the waiter because your steak is overdone, but don't be too charming, especially if your server is wearing a skirt.

"When a guy is schmoozing, he comes across as insecure," warns Tessina. "It gives the impression that he needs everyone to like him, not just the woman he's with."

Be pleasant, but save the smooth talk for your date.

You think you should: ask her about herself.
You should: actually listen.

Tessina says you should ensure you know these five facts before you say goodnight: her best friend's name; her work responsibilities; her career plans; what she does for fun; and when she last saw her family.

"When we talk about ourselves, we assume the listener likes us, so getting her chatting will reap you rewards as a good date," Buffington says.

And you'll score major brownie points by calling her later and mentioning one of the facts you remembered.

You think you should: show you understand her.
You should: not play the shrink.

Yes, a woman likes to feel you have a direct link to her subconscious, but when you tell her, "You're the kind of girl who . . .", all you'll do is annoy her.

"It oversimplifies her, belittles her and makes her self-conscious," says Tessina, "regardless of whether you're being flattering or not."

Just pay attention to what she's telling you; she'll feel you're tuned in.