The mismatch
Her arousal is slow burn, but you're raring to go.
Sure, women are typically slower than men . . . at being sexually amped, that is. "But it actually takes less time than even women realise," says Dr Scott Haltzman, author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men. Rig the system: if you reinforce the idea that she's aroused, it may happen more quickly. Tell her you see that her nipples are hard and you feel she's wet. Her brain will signal her body to feel that desire, Haltzman says.

The mismatch
You like dirty talk, but she's a bit timid.
Just because she's keeping quiet, don't assume she's opposed to sex talk. "A woman may not like to talk dirty because it takes away from her body and sensations," says sex therapist Joy Davidson, author of Fearless Sex.

Feed her lines. While you're teasing her, ask her what she wants to do next. During sex, ask her what she likes best about how it feels. "In future, she'll have more phrases at hand," Davidson says.
The mismatch
You always make the first move.
Women may subconsciously feel they need permission to take the lead, according to Dr Patti Briton, author of The Art of Sex Coaching. Casually say, "I wonder what it would be like if you took the lead tonight. That would really turn me on." Also, realise that any of her casual comments about sex - or anything about either your body or hers - are often subtle requests, Haltzman says.

The mismatch
Your number is higher than hers.
A big gap in bedroom know-how can make her worry about her performance or about being just another notch on your bedpost, says Haltzman. In that case, "don't rush in with your full utility belt of sexual experiences and toys", he adds. Face-to-face positions are best because they offer her a sense of intimacy and connection. And forget about the Big O at first; focusing on orgasm only stresses her.

The mismatch
The two of you don't measure up.
If there's a significant height difference between the two of you, furniture can be your best friend. If she's taller, try lying on an ottoman or a small bench and have her straddle you. That way she can still have her feet on the ground, Haltzman says, "giving her leverage and flexibility". Or if you're taller, "try holding her up and pinning her against a wall", says Dr Brian Zamboni, a sex therapist and clinical psychologist at the University of Minnesota in the US.