He may not have fancy letters after his name, but Dave combines the wisdom of the Dalai Lama with the compassion of your best mate. Got a life-shattering issue to discuss? Send it through now. But be prepared to hack the response because it's not going to come sugar coated.
Q: Dave,
The guy above me quit. My boss gave me his duties, but without a raise. Am I being had? - Christopher
A: That's a classic management move: they make you prove your worth at a discount and then you have to claw for the extra bucks. If this were 2002, I'd tell you to find the nearest door and walk out of it. But look around, you're lucky to even have a job - and as your company shrinks, you're doing big things. This is an opportunity. Take it. Stay with it. When things improve, you'll have a better job and the pay to match.
Q: Hi Dave,
My girlfriend named her cat after me. Now I'm weirded out. Should I ask her to rename it? - Harry
A: Ask her? Convince her! I haven't been this freaked since I saw a guy put mayonnaise on his meat pie. But don't say you're creeped out. She's trying to be nice, so she deserves some kindness in response. Maybe you could tell her that the name thing is just straight up confusing. It is, after all. People and pets can't share names in the same house. What would happen if she called your name in bed? Let's not find out.
Q: Hi Dave,
I have a great career, but my dad keeps suggesting I join the family business. How many times must I say no? - Ethan
A: Congratulations: the old man trusts you. Look, dads pass all kinds of things onto their sons - their names, the cricket knowledge, their finer bits of wisdom. It's their way of getting close to you and letting the legacy live on. So even though your dad's hints may seem like nagging, they're actually compliments. And judging from the crap I hear from both sides of the father-son fence around here (and after a few beers, it's a lot of crap), those compliments put you in a better position than most. So use those moments to tell him about how all his other hand-me-downs made you the success you are today. Deep down, that's what he most wants to know anyway.
Q: Hey Dave,
My boss wants to carpool, but he's 30 minutes out of my way. How can I turn him down? - Ben
A: You mean besides reminding him that you live four suburbs over? If you don't have the courage to be direct, then skirt the issue. Tell him you're hitting the gym before or after work and need to ride solo. Or tell him your mornings are too hectic - family, sleep, whatever - and you just can't see how you can get out 30 minutes earlier than usual. I see the stickiness of the situation, but hang tough. You're his employee, not his chauffeur.
Need a shoulder to cry on? Dave, everyone's favourite barman, is only an email away.
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