Hit the Brakes on the Relationship Rush

"We often fast-track our relationships to feel more emotionally secure," says personal coach Kate James. But racing to tick a checklist can be counterproductive.

"Not paying enough attention to our current experiences can leave us disconnected," adds James. Instead of pushing your partner to take the relationship to the next level, think about the way you relate each day as an opportunity to increase intimacy. This can prevent relationship autopilot.

"Swap usual tasks, like cooking dinner, or give an unexpected compliment to make the psychological shift into what you enjoy about the present," says James.

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Kick your budget into reverse

"We are in a constant race to fill our lives with things without reflecting on whether this makes us happy," says Andrew May, author of Flip The Switch (Messenger Publishing, $34.95). But reassessing your priorities doesn't mean avoiding the shops altogether.

Instead, James suggests creating a "reverse budget" by setting aside 10 per cent of your salary for spending. "This gives you psychological permission to spend, which provides you with a sense of control over the experience and decreases your chances of overspending."

Curb your career enthusiasm

Don't let your drive for more pay or a better title push you into applying for a premature promotion. "Rushing ahead sends the message that you lack self-awareness and minimises your chance of future promotion," warns Kate Southam, editor of www.careerone.com.au.

Instead, she advises staying in your current role for at least two years and pushing for opportunities for skill development.

"Volunteer for a 'stretch' goal, such as shadowing your boss on a larger project or applying for developmental training."