Heidi Klum and Seal have announced their divorce at the doomed 7 year mark. Did they succumb to the laws of probability by falling victim to the 7 Year Itch? Are we all vulnerable to the same disease as we approach this mythical milestone?

If only relationship break downs were that simple to explain.

The hype of the term “7 Year Itch” grew from neither psychology nor any well researched scientific method. The term’s significance in pop psychology evolved via the big screen in a movie starring the gorgeous Marilyn Monroe. Remember the iconic image of Monroe standing above the grates outside a train station, skirt blowing wildly above her knees? The movie was called “7 Year Itch” as a reference to a book of this title being written by one of the characters in the movie. It takes fiction to a whole new level—it was a fictitious movie, about a fictitious book, written about the fictitious male tendency to have sexual affairs at around the 7 year mark of a relationship.

Like a dose of hives, the term has proliferated. In fact, it has evolved from referring to male infidelity to referring to the tendency of relationships to supposedly expire around the 7 year mark.

Yet the real life statistics tell a different story. For example, according to the most current Australian Bureau of Statistics, the average length of a first marriage for those that end in divorce is 13.5 years for men, and 12 years for women. Taken together with the fact that more than half of marriages don’t end in divorce (i.e. last much longer than 7 years), there is little suggestion here of a tendency toward a 7 Year Itch. Further, according to the US Census, 75% of marriages that began after 1990 have made it to the 10 year mark.

Irrespective of the reliability of the “7 Year Itch” hypothesis, some interesting research exists related to the theory that you can use to benefit your love life. Below are some of those thoughts to ponder.

How to Scratch the 7 Year Itch

1.    Leave boredom behind

At some point following the early exhilaration of a new relationship, two lovers settle into the comfort zone together. They establish clearer routines, begin to understand how their partner communicates, and find a nice balance of me time and we time. Sure, this comfort can feel cozy at the time as we feel connected, loved and nurtured. Yet with comfort comes potential danger.

Comfort in any area of your life can lead to complacency, followed by boredom. And boredom is bad for relationships! A study carried out at the University of Michigan for example found that higher boredom levels in a relationship at the 7 year mark significantly predicted lower relationship satisfaction in year 19. The researchers discovered that boredom reduces closeness between a couple and this in turn leads to dissatisfaction.

So don’t mistake comfort for satisfaction. Do things that make you uncomfortable, grow together, stretch each other, get out and try new things both as a couple and as individuals. Break out of your standard rut and routine. Do things to spice up your days and make each week different to the last.

2.    Deny the small irritations

A British survey of 2000 adults found that 67% of participants reported small irritations became a major pain in the backside by the 36 th month of the relationship. Despite what they may have originally laughed at or found cute about their partner in the beginning of the relationship, by the third year it was causing frustration.

This begs the question: what enables someone to be totally ok with those small nuances in the beginning of the relationship, yet no longer be able to tolerate those same behaviours with the passing of time? The answer is simple—we choose to turn a blind eye to the negative in the early stages of love.

And you can continue to turn a blind eye if you choose long-term happiness instead. One of the commitments you can make in your relationship is to refuse to allow the little things to bother you. Doing so requires truly accepting those small irritations as part of your partner, your relationship and your life. (Remember we’re talking here about small irritations like biting nails, not big issues like alcoholism or abuse for example).

3.    Keep a check on what matters most

The British survey mentioned above found that the three top annoyances and passion killers in a relationship were:

1. Weight gain / lack of exercise

2. Money and spend thrift behaviours

3. Anti-social work behaviours

These are lifestyle choices that have a significant impact on one’s partner, quality of life and family time. Hence, if you want your relationship to go the distance, not only to beat the odds, but also to have a satisfying life together it’s imperative to take responsibility to live your life aligned with what really matters in life: look after your physical body, take care of loving yourself, be responsible with money and spend quality time with your loved ones.

I mean, is that really too much to ask??

Author of De-stress Your Success: Get More of What You Want with Less Time, Stress and Effort, Sacha Crouch is a business, executive and life coach who helps people create the work and lives they love. For other free lifestyle resources visit www.activ8change.com.au and www.de-stressyoursuccess.com