We all love a drink - some more than others and while I’m known in my group of friends as being the one with an ‘off’ switch when it comes to drinking (well, most of the time anyway, Facebook seems to tell a different story), I’ve had plenty of experience with girls who just don't know when to stop and sometimes, it's just not a pretty sight! Here, in no particular order, are some of the types of drunk dates I’ve had the dubious pleasure of dating and some thoughts on how to deal with them.

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The cheap date – I have a soft spot for the cheap date, this girl gets drunk at the merest whiff of alcohol.  Most of the time they know their limitations, but when they go for it, well, it’s all over pretty quickly.  Fortunately, the fact that they can’t actually drink that much normally means they don’t go too crazy or have to have their hair held back while they pray to the porcelain gods.

The sleeper – Is the next stage on from the cheap date. I had the unfortunate experience of dating a ‘sleeper’, or rather a ‘drink too much and collapser’.  The delightful Sarah seemed innocent, charming company and had some real potential, until the first night we stayed together.  We went to a party and after a few hours, her drinking led to her slumping in her chair and nothing that I, nor anyone else could do could wake her.  After carrying her up the stairs to my flat (not an easy task carrying a dead weight), I placed her on my bed and went to sleep on the sofa. At 4 am she stormed into the living room demanding to know why I wasn’t in bed with her.  If that had been a once off, then fine, but pretty much every time we went out for a big night, the pattern repeated itself and much to the amusement of my friends, Sarah would lapse into a coma pretty much at the same stage of the evening.  Needless to say we didn’t last long and I’ve tried to avoid the ‘sleeper’ ever since.

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The cryer – some girls find it all a bit too much.  Whether it’s the fact that they’re single, their boyfriend isn’t talking to them, or a girl’s wearing the same dress as them at a wedding (and she thinks the other girl looks better – which she normally doesn’t), there’s a drunk girl for whom tears at two (am) is a common occurrence.  It sounds harsh, but the best thing to do for these girls is to put them in a cab – don’t feed their tears by giving them attention, because you know what, it doesn’t matter what you say to them, it really won’t make any difference and tomorrow they’ll be fine and more than likely won’t remember being upset anyway…

The flirter – this girl is a cunning one, often becoming the sexiest and flirtiest of women once she’s had a few champagnes, she will make you feel like you’re the most desired guy in the world and that all your fantasies could well come true….until the next morning, when she goes back to being a cold fish and you get into trouble for trying to flirt with her…

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The good time girl – same as the flirter, she just does it with everyone else but you, even when she’s dating you.

The mentalist – drink and this girl do not mix, even a sniff of alcohol can set her off, leading to irrational arguments, picking fights with bouncers, falling over and blaming an imaginary obstacle and combining most of the other types of other drunk dates I’ve written about, but with added shouting.  When combined with the male equivalent is a disaster waiting to happen. This girl is dangerous, frequently pretty nasty, has no moral compass when drunk and thinks the world revolves around them, frequently because it’s spinning. Avoid at all costs…

The dancer – when drunk she dances before anyone else, invariably will try and drag her date onto the dance floor (especially at weddings) and can sometimes be seen trying to dance in a 40s swing style regardless of the amount of room available on the dance floor (especially if her other half is a ‘dancer drunk’ too). Can be lots and lots of fun, or can be really dangerous, it really is a fine line…oh and there’s a Singstar/Karaoke version too, but the only danger comes from their singing and that they never let anyone else have a turn.

Is he the one?

Last but not least, the fab and fun drunk – sometimes a few drinks brings out the best in a girl, their fun and bouncy side, amplifying their positives and making you grin from ear to ear just to be around them. This date is lovely and despite what I’ve written above, thankfully much more common than the other types.

Are there any that I’ve missed? I’m sure you can think of many more and the girls can most definitely pick a few types of drunk man (although I think they generally fall into two categories, aggro and non-aggro), feel free to share your thoughts with me!