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When I am asked what causes low libido and sexless relationships my answer is "life". As life gets busier our sex life can be the first thing to suffer. After a long, stressful and busy day, who has time to feel sexy and relax between the sheets? But if we do not put priority on our sex life and the benefits to ourselves and our relationship, thing can slide down hill. In order to get that spark back, it’s time couples became a little more creative and resourceful in their quest to bedroom bliss. Here are ten tips to help keep you going in the bedroom (or not in the bedroom) when time is tight and life is busy.
1. The Quickie
They were created for a very good reason. You might not want to adopt this as your constant sex pattern but you can still have a little bit of fun in that five minutes before you need to run out the door to work - it might be better than nothing. It is good to combine with some steamy texts or sweet whisper in the ear to get the excitement going first.
2. Intimacy versus sex
We tend to place a lot of important on the actual act of sex, but sometimes focusing on intimacy first can really help boost the passion in a relationship. Get to know each other on a deeper level before you worry about the quantity of sex. Sometimes just being together with no distractions is all you need.
3. Quality versus quantity
Instead of trying to hit the average of 2.5 times a week, focus on having better sex where the memory will last you (and hopefully encourage you to do it again some time soon). If you can get the intimacy flowing then the quality of sexual satisfaction might go through the roof.4. Scheduling can be sexy
It is one of those things people dislike but it can be necessary and a way to spend time together. You don't have to have sex, but just be together with the option of having sex. This is what I like to call sexy time. Turn the phones off, shut the door and be together, but what happens next is your own choice...
Sometimes it is a matter of putting priority on your sex life and stop making excuses. Make it just as important as a meeting or deadline where nothing would stand in the way. If you have time to get your hair done, meet friends for a coffee or watch TV then you have time for some passionate play between the sheets.6. Masturbation
Mutual masturbation can be a great way to keep sexually stimulated if you are exhausted or short on time. If it's about stimulation instead of connection than it is a matter of being creative. You don’t always need to be having sex but other sexual acts just might do.
7. Kissing can be good too
When we have sex, our body releases oxytocin which keeps us in love and helps us bond. You can also release oxytocin with a kiss, so pucker up!
8. Keep the passion alive with technology
Sexting or a saucy email can be a great way to fire up the desire in your partner before you lay a finger on each other. This can work well before a quickie and remember foreplay can venture out of the bedroom too and can start 24 hours before the actually act of sex. Tell your partner what you are looking forward to...
9. Sex could be an alternative to the gym
Sex helps you burn calories and get healthy so why not replace it with one of your workouts once a week. Just like a workout, it can also help you decreases stress so it might just be the thing to help you with your busy life.
10. Get creative
Sometimes when you are busy you need to be creative about when and where you have sex. The shower is always a good place to start and you can save water at the same time.
Whatever you have time to do and whatever tips you want to adopt just remember there is no such thing as normal when it comes to sex and you need to sometimes look outside the square. And if you don’t have time for sex 24/7 - sometimes just an "I love you" will do.
Visit www.drnikkig.com.au for more expert relationship advice and sex tips.
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