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Declaring your feelings for someone you care about can be a daunting event. For some, saying those three magical words can come easily and naturally and for others it can be too scary a feat. There’s always the fear that the other person may not say it back or worse they don’t feel the same way about you.The meaning of those three words holds different weight to the meaning of a relationship from individual to individual. For some people it marks the beginning of a relationship, for others it’s a natural progression from caring about someone and enjoying their company to a deeper connection. Saying those three words can move a relationship to the next level so it’s an important milestone.
Early in your relationship you may be faced with the dilemma of when to say “I love you.” You may wonder if it is too premature to express your true feelings or perhaps it is the right time but you are fearful of taking that step. There is no perfect time to say “I Love You”. However, below are several warning signs that it could be too soon.
How soon is too soon to say “I Love You”?1. When you don’t mean it.
This may seem like a no-brainer but you shouldn’t say you love someone if you truly don’t feel that way. Don’t say “I Love You” to get someone into bed or to force a relationship to move beyond a current stage. Not only is it dishonest but it can be misleading for your partner. Wait until you can say the words honestly and without reservation.2. If there’s an expectation it will be said in return.
If you tell your partner that you love them and expect to hear it in return then you may be setting yourself up for disappointment. Many couples don’t fall in love at the same time and for some people it can take a while to trust another person and reveal their feelings. If you tell your partner you love them, then you need to be okay with not having the feelings reciprocated. Your partner may say those three words back in time, but don’t make them feel pressured. Let them tell you when they’re ready.3. On the first few dates.
There’s a lot of debate about whether you should tell someone you love them on the first few dates, but the general consensus is that it should be avoided just as conversation topics like religion, politics and ex-partners should be avoided on a first date. Okay, if you’ve known someone for five years and have been in love with them for quite some time then perhaps you could take the plunge and declare your feelings to them without hesitation. But if you hardly know the person then keep your feelings to yourself until you feel more certain. The last thing you want to do is scare them off.4. When it’s bad timing.
You may have decided it’s time to tell your partner you love them, but sometimes things just don’t go to plan. Think about whether the timing is right. If you tell someone you love them in the middle of a fight or right after having sex then your partner may question whether you truly feel that way or whether it was said in the heat of the moment. If your partner may not be expecting it, hearing those words could be quite overwhelming for them, so tread carefully.5. When you’re feeling desperate
Saying “I Love You” should come from a place of genuine love for the other person rather than the need to be loved. Some people express their love out of desperation to know that the other person loves them, and to mesh with the other as soon as possible. If this feels the case for you, slow down, perhaps it is time to wait until your significant other expresses his love first. That way, you’ll be more likely to believe it when he does whisper those three precious words.
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Author of De-stress Your Success: Get More of What You Want with Less Time, Stress and Effort, Sacha Crouch is a business, executive and life coach who helps people create the work and lives they love. For other free lifestyle resources visit www.activ8change.com.au.
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