“A bad day for the ego is a good day for the soul.” -Anonymous

On the weekends I travel around the country teaching yoga workshops. Some cities I’ve been to four or five times and attendance is very strong. But when it’s my first visit to a city, the classes are smaller. Last weekend, I visited Austin, Texas which is an amazing, festive, and uniquely cultured city.

I showed up to teach my first yoga workshop expecting a decent crowd who certainly would appreciate my music, messages, and after-class chocolate and wine. People were slow to trickle in, but I figured, “Hey it’s a Friday… there must be traffic.” So I waited a while longer, standing at the door expecting an influx of people at any second. Surely they were gathering their stuff from the car. Still, nobody showed. As the class’s start time came and went, I waited… and waited… and waited. Only one person showed up. After significant expense to get there, and a three-hour plane ride, only one person?!

Any ego I’d built up over time was blasted to smithereens. I went on a mentally downward spiral. While teaching class to that one person, I thought, “Maybe I suck at teaching yoga?” Then I thought, “Might it be my manboobs?” And the thoughts picked up in pace until it was an almost vertical descent.

    “Is it my breath?”

    “Maybe it was that naughty email newsletter I sent out?**”

    “I’m a horrible person!”

    “What’s wrong with me?!”

    “I think I’m gonna cry!”

    “I never should have put Ex-Lax in that jerk’s cocktail! This is my karma.”

But then something odd happened that was really quite spiritual. About halfway through the class, I felt a profound peace. It turned out be a great lesson in the natural high of an egoless existence. Even if it wasn’t something I’d wished for, after I got over a little “hurt,” there was a lightness to being humbled. It almost felt like I’d lost weight. Not the weight that makes my belly stick out, but the weight that burdens us with guilt, selfishness, and petty preoccupations. In this suddenly lighter state, I felt a major shift from a “taker” to a “giver.” What does that mean?

There are two kinds of people: takers and givers. Sometimes we are all takers. And sometimes we are all givers. People who are large in the ways of the ego consume a lot. It’s not food they consume but rather your money, time, and confidence. Takers deplete your energy. They make you feel tired, insecure, and uncomfortable. We all know those people (sometimes we are those people) that make you feel as if you smoked two stale cigarettes while hungover under a hot Mexican sun on a Monday morning. Those people are takers.

Meanwhile, givers are light in the ego. They enhance your energy. Givers are often altruistic, if not with money than with time to listen, advise, and embrace. They help you feel uplifted, inspired, at ease.

Depending where you’re at with your ego, you are an uplifting presence (giver) or a bummer to be around (taker). Take the following test to determine if you are a giver or a taker:

1. A poor beggar on the street asks you for change as you leave the coffee shop.

a. You give her your spare change.

b. You scream at her, “Get a job!”

c. Because you are sending a text message as you leave the coffee shop, you accidentally step on the beggar.

2. You’re eating at a restaurant. A random person finds $20 on the ground and says to you, “I think you dropped this money.” But you know you did NOT in fact drop the money. What do you say?

a. “Yes that’s mine, give it to me!”

b. “Um, no it’s not mine, but I’ll take it.”

c. “No it’s not mine, but would you mind if I take it and make a donation?”

3. Your friend gets a flat tire in a roadside ditch. He leaves you a voicemail frantically asking for help. But you have an important meeting that is about to begin. What do you do?

a. Pretend like you couldn’t hear his voicemail clearly and go to your meeting.

b. Call back your friend and tell him to “get a job” so this stuff wouldn’t happen.

c. Prioritize friends and family over work and leave work to help your friend ASAP.

4. You are driving, and you run over a little bird. Your daughter is in the car and asks what just happened. What do you do?

a. You tell her the squishing sound was just a glitch in the CD.

b. You ignore your daughter hoping she won’t ask again.

c. You drive back to help the little bird and teach your daughter to protect sentient life.

5. You’re in the grocery market. You run into someone you haven’t seen in a while and you really hoped never to see again. What do you do?

a. Pretend like you have lost your mind and don’t recognize the person.

b. Take the suck, open your heart, and be nice to the person.

c. Be really honest and say, “Did you really think we were friends?”

If you chose the following you are a giver:

1. a

2. c

3. c

4. c

5. b

If you got one wrong: 

“Until you transcend the ego, you do nothing but add to the insanity of the world.” -John Randolph Price

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