In the old days, you married a guy because he courted you. Then you had kids. The end. Today it's, er, more complicated. If only Dexter from Perfect Match was here to tell us the answer. Instead, we pinned down the experts to offer solutions to some of the trickiest situations to arise in that crazy little thing called love.

He's keen to get hitched. I don't see the need for marriage. Should I give in to please him?

Ask yourself if it's him you don't want to marry, or marriage itself you don't want to participate in, says Dr Bella Ellwood-Clayton, a sexual anthropologist.

If it's option A then Do. Not. Marry. Him. If it's B then ascertain who feels stronger about the issue on an importance scale of one to 10. If getting married is a 10 for him, and you're not fussed either way and it'll make him really happy, then you could see this as one of the many compromises you'll make in the relationship. On the other hand, if getting hitched is against the very moral fibre of your being, or you don't see yourself being with him for the rest of your lives, then say so and he can choose to either live with that, or move on.

He rubbishes global warming and won't compost, cut down on fuel or even recycle. How do I get him onside?

Just as he can't curb your cushion-buying obsession, you can't change him either. All you can do is lead by example.I'd suggest pulling right back and not insisting, saysPhillip Johnson, relationship specialist at Sydney's Choosing Change counselling. Of course, it depends on how strongly you feel about the issue. If you're an ecovangelical, and your partner's about as green as Exxon, you could be in trouble.  

This is why I suggest all couples come in for pre-marital counselling, says Johnson. You each need to draw up a list of non-negotiable beliefs. If you're not sharing beliefs right from the beginning, it can cause awful trouble down the line. Yikes. Could be a good time to be talking religion, politics, abortion and private schools.

He's considering a job overseas. I have a great career here. Do I move for love?

It depends what's most important to you at this stage of your life job, relationship, family... You need to do a plus and minus list for both of you, says Dr Janet Hall, clinical psychologist, sex therapist and author of Sex-Life Solutions. If he loves you and your job has the best future, he should stay here. If you're really at loggerheads, get outside help. Never make a life-changing decision like this without a counsellor. It's not a matter of rights or insisting - it's about values and positive mental health and the priority of the relationship in the long run. One solution not to try: long distance. Relationships rarely last over time and distance, says Dr Hall.

I'm about to end my relationship. How do I minimise his pain?

Whatever the reason for your exit, it will be a shock for him. But it's up to him to decide how he deals with his grief and the re-adjustment you can't do it for him, says Eric Hudson, president of the Australian Association of Relationship Counsellors.If you think it will help, suggest he see a relationship counsellor. Be kind and honest and respect him; maintain your own dignity. Above all, do not listen to friends! They all give advice based on their own (often bad) experiences.

For 28 more questions - check out the February issue on WH - out now!

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