Dr Traci Coventry peels back the covers in bedrooms across Australia.

Silent night?

Q: My boyfriend and I have really good sex, but he's quiet in bed. How can I get him to be more vocal?

CR, Noosa, Qld

A: Bedroom behaviour is individual - some people scream in ecstasy while others are equally ecstatic in silence. Ask yourself why you'd like him to be more vocal. Is it because you find it erotic, or is it because you'd like to know you're doing the right things?

Either way, communicate. If it's about you, negotiate with him to ensure you get the positive feedback you need. If it's about arousal, letting him know exactly what you desire is the best way to guarantee he tries it.



Daddy don't care?

Q: I'm ready for kids but my husband isn't. How can I speed things up?

RR, Miranda, NSW


A: Start by determining why he's not ready, and whether his issues can be resolved. Then, expose him to the fun things about being a parent and spend time with friends' or relatives' children to help make the idea of being a dad more appealing.

Alternatively, try nurturing his paternal side by adopting a kitten or puppy - it's a less daunting introduction to the joys and responsibilities of parenthood.



Think outside the bedroom

Q: I'd like to have sex outdoors but my boyfriend is apprehensive. How can I get him to loosen up?

MH, Battery Point, Tas


A: Alfresco sex can be great if you're both comfortable. Suggest to your boyfriend that it's something you would find really hot. Once his interest is piqued, the two of you can devise a step-by-step plan to ease him into it.

For example, begin by having sex indoors with the curtains open, then move to a private balcony or garden, then do it under a blanket at a secluded location at night time. And bring another blanket to put between you and the ground for comfort's sake. 

Dr Traci Coventry is a clinical psychologist who counsels couples and singles with relationship, sexuality and fertility issues. Coventry operates her own practice in Victoria.


Send your sex & relationship questions to Traci here

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