WHO senior editor Simone Casey: So, start talking.
Andy: Environmental note, we are sitting here on the couch, it’s probably L shaped and we’re enjoying...
Hamish: I think you were trying to talk about how we were positively impacting the environment.
Andy: Hamish is drinking a tree [there's a mint leaf in it].
Hamish: I have a tree in my cocktail from a sustainable source.
Simone: I shouldn’t have said start talking should I?
Andy: What girly drink are you having?
Hamish: This is a berry mojito.
Andy: Is it berry good? I’ve got a beer and we’re very relaxed after the party.
Simone: How did you think the show went?
Hamish: We had so much fun doing that show.
Andy: I wish we could do more of them but there’s only one real event that warrants all the celebrities getting together, the Logies.
Hamish: Just to have that, a lot of people that attend the night, who gather together, really in celebration of rotating hot meat is really a great fun afternoon.
Andy: So we literally hand the show over to them and we just take the two hours off.
Hamish: No, it’s awesome.
Simone: So where did the concept of the spit roast come from?
Andy: Because everyone converges in Melbourne for the weekend, we thought it would be fun on a Friday afternoon, Friday night.
Hamish: And as far as meat’s concerned, who doesn’t love a rotating spit? In the first year it was our “Ye Olde Spit Roast” but now it’s been cut down to just the Spit Roast, we realised the meat was the hero, the meat was the star and it was delicious.
Andy: And usually spit roasts are reserved for scout halls and fundraisers.
Hamish: Just a medieval festival for celebrities, but with less lute and jousting. Lute as in L U T E the instrument and more spit roast.
Andy: Very viking.
Simone: There’s been a suggestion, I was talking to a few people backstage, about having a spit roast at the Logies itself on Sunday night.
Andy: I’ve heard complaints about the meal at the Logies before.
Hamish: If you put it to the crowd, who here wants chicken beef chicken beef fish, chicken beef chicken beef, fish, or who would like a massive souvlaki machine and some hot dogs, everyone would go off.
Andy: They should put on a mini spit on the middle of every table with…
Hamish: pheasant or quail on it or pickle it
Andy: And then maybe a tzaziki gun that you can just squirt on any part of it whenever you want
Hamish: For main course, people want a horse.
Simone: Gordon Ramsey would approve.
Andy: Yeah he would.
Hamish: F*** yeah.
Simone: He chucked a big roast on the table the other night, I think that’s a good idea.
Hamish: Put a f***ing spit on the f***ing table.
Simone: Oh, I wanted to ask you about bringing a plate, what were the standout plates?
Hamish: I’m sick of Australians just pandering to anyone that’s famous, going we’ll lay it on, you get it for free, you present at the Logies, you get a gift basket, blah blah blah,
Andy: No.
Hamish: Everybody bring their own plate and actually contribute, because let’s face it, celebrities, they shouldn’t be getting stuff for free.
Andy: They get stuff for free anyway, how about you cook us some food. And to be honest, a bit went to waste because Jules Lund threw it on everybody, I got a stew and also Patti Newton’s potato salad ended up on my nose.
Simone: I didn’t see any on you [Hamish].
Hamish: I managed to escape Scott free, I was doing a lot of firing, and I wasn’t attracting a lot of enemy fire but I really feel hard done by for Ando because he was trying to negotiate a peace. Jules, let the record show, was the first to reach for a weapon.
Andy: He was.
Hamish: Then I reached for the soy sauce gun, he reached for a chocolate log and just like Reservoir Dogs, the first guy to pull the gun is really the antagonist and I then had to reach for my gun just to halt him to stand him down because you can’t be flailing around a weapon like a chocolate gingernut log in public willy nilly and he wouldn’t stand down and then turned to Andy the mediator and shot the hostage.
Andy: Exactly, as soon as the hostage is shot in any negotiations
Hamish: It’s open fire and it really did just deteriorated into an all out fight.
Simone: I noticed, Andy, that you kept all your mess on you for the entirety of the show.
Andy: Well there’s really nowhere to put it.
Simone: Megan said you were the neat and tidy one, she was surprised you kept the cake on your face.
Andy: yeah, that was a mistake because I didn’t realise that I had I on my face and towards the end of the show and I had a photo and I was resting my hand on my chin and then I realised there was a lot of cupcake from The Last Goodbye, the band brought cupcakes, and I thought ‘hang on, I’ve just spent the last hour with cupcake on my chin’ and I’m like ‘I’m not old enough yet to I’ve had that much Botox that I can’t feel my face.’
Simone: The other thing I wanted to ask about was your friend Bert Newton, what was it like to interview Bert?
Andy: He told me on air that he was 70 and I couldn’t believe that he was 70.
Hamish: Well Bert is just an amazing talent and an amazing person,
Andy: I think his head is actually getting bigger because there’s so much history we have to jam pack in his memory and so many memories of just brilliant, he is a TV icon but I think the Logies people will see there’s two hours of show reels of his highlights over his…
Hamish: Bert Newton is television. If there was a code for DNA, it was have tiny little channels in his blood.
Simone: Tell me about fashion for the Logies itself, have you picked out?
Andy: We were lucky
Hamish: Calibre, who make snazzy suits have agreed to dress us. They make you look a bit thinner, unless I have the control top high waisted panties, there’s not a whole lot of tricks you can use as a male to make you look thinner but Calibre suits are great.
Andy: It was my first situation ever where I’d been in where I went to the Calibre and a bloke came in and said “put it on! Turn around! Perfect!” and that was like five six words he spoke ever.
Hamish: The maestro of suits.
Andy: I really felt like I was out a scene of the Devil Wears Prada, where it was a situation where he actually said to me “Turn around, perfect, take it off”.
Hamish: I walked into the offices, threw my coat on the table and said give me Armani.
Simone: How about the girlfriends, what’s happening with the outfits?
Andy: Hamish and I are both in the situation where our girlfriends always look better than us, no matter what we wear, our girlfriends always look better than us, and now we’ve just taken that as fact.
Hamish: My girlfriend did the thing where she tried on a whole lot of dresses and took photos of them on her digital camera. Simone: Does that work?
Hamish: Well it doesn’t. Your job as a boyfriend there is to get really excited and when she showed me The Dress, I went really big and then I thought maybe I’ve gone too big and she’ll suspect that I struggle to… because I don’t know about dresses, I think she looked great in all of them. She said well I tried on Dress A and Dress B and I said “oh yeah, yeah yeah” but “I LOVE this Dress C” and I had to go “Oh my God, that is stunning, that makes all the other dresses in the world jealous” and I overacted a bit, and I thought I’m pushing this and she’s like “Oh, thanks, that’s really sweet”. I really thought she was going to turn around and go ‘I’m onto your pantomine” but girls love it when you go on and on, I’ve learnt.
Simone: Have you thought about who’s going to win the gold Logie? You’ve got a bet on Adam Hills haven’t you? What are you really thinking?
Andy: To be honest, it’s such a great field this year, and with anything that’s Most Popular, you have no idea, but there’s no stragglers here and it’s really quite exciting to see Denton and Hills actually alongside, you know, everyone who’s more commercially viable stars, like McManus and Natalie Blair and these type of people, but it’s nice to see such a wide range, everyone’s obviously brilliant at their own fields, so it’s not hard, it’s apples and apples. It’s not like you can compare Chris Lilley’s popularity to Andrew Denton’s popularity, it’s just a different thing. So Hamish and I have got a few friends in there. From a work side of thing we’d love to see McManus, Rove, win, because we work on that show and from a radio point of view we’d love to see Adam win
Hamish: because we have a massive bet on him and we want to buy a hill. If he wins, we get to buy Adam’s hill.
Andy: and that’s the important thing.
Simone: So what’s your pick for the number one red-carpet fashion standout?
Hamish: Oh, OK, hair.
Andy: I think we’ll see a lot of bald women.
Hamish: I think hair will be in this year.
Andy: Are you talking about a person, not a trend? I’ll take this opportunity to say ah, Megan, and Hamish should probably say Anna.
Hamish: Should I?
Simone: I thought Patti.
Hamish: Patti will look stunning, she’ll sizzle. And I think Naomi Robson will shock us all and I’m going to leave that open as to whether it’s good or bad.
Simone: Who will do a Bjork in the swan outfit at the Oscars moment?
Andy: Girlfriend’s aside, Mark Holden generally wears something weird doesn’t he?
Hamish: Yes, that’s true. The guys from Pizza usually roll up in something outrageous. I want to see Kerry O’Brien wear board shorts, we know it’s coming.