Factsheets

Choosing your baby's gender - one couple's fight for a girl

Nov 17 10:01am

Lisa wrote to SUNRISE in the soapbox wanting to raise the issue of choosing the sex of your baby.

Lisa and her husband Paul had six boys - three from a previous relationship of Paul's.

Desperate for a girl, the couple traveled to Thailand in July this year for a procedure no longer permitted in Australia.

Of Lisa's nine embryos, seven of them were boys, only two were girls.

They elected to have the two embryos implanted in Lisa in the hope at least one would survive.

Tragically, Lisa lost the two female embryos in the second or third week of the pregnancy after they had returned home from Thailand.

The entire family was devastated as a result.

Lisa defends her decision

Lisa knows many people will not agree with her decision.

Lisa says she loves her boys dearly and wouldn't change them for anything. But she says it's time they had a girl.

It is particularly hard for Lisa and Paul to have a girl and since the first attempt failed, she admits they are considering returning to Thailand to repeat the procedure.

IVF expert Dr Anne Clark won't pass judgement on what Lisa and Paul are doing but says the couple's reason for seeking sex selection - balancing the family - is not allowed in Australia.

Since a ruling by the National Health and Medical Council, the process has been outlawed in Australia since 2005.

Selection is still allowed when risky medical reasons prevail e.g. in some families, having a particular gender child may leave them predisposed to certain illnesses.

How a baby's sex is selected

In quite a simple procedure, doctors use a special stain which shows up x and y chromosomes when an embryo is 3 to 5 days old.

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9 Comments Report Abuse

1. shakirabell66 - Nov 17 11:58am

Can i just say that i dnt agree with chosing the gender of your child"s sex, as long as they are happy n healthy that's all that matters. I also think that it is selfish, i know that sounds harsh but i know couples who have been trying for years to have a child even through Ivf, you've been blessed.

2. rachl_original - Nov 17 03:34pm

You should be greatful for all children you have!
and not choose what sex they should be.
I also dont believe in having children just because
you want them. Remember, they are a blessing and
if you are lucky enough to have a child then you should be happy no matter what you are given.

3. giveup3 - Nov 17 04:05pm

You go Linda I have 2 boys and crave a girl. Yes mine are both
miracles by fertility drugs and love them with all my heart but we
both want a girl I think we have the right to choose just as much as we have the right to choose to die

4. rjandhudo - Nov 18 09:44am

Hi. i to have been blessed with beautiful boys- although not quite as many as you! i have been looking into going to thailand- but unfortuatly we dont have the money sitting there- other debts etc- i dont judge you at all- i also believe i am missing out on a key mothering experience-

5. rjandhudo - Nov 18 09:46am

we sound like one in the same lisa- i am afraid to try naturally for one more child in case it is another boy- as my husband has put a 4 child limit on our family.i understand his point but so longing want a daughter. good luck with everything and i hope you get your girl. all the best

6. keznnoel - Nov 18 09:55am

I hope you get your little girl. I think you are a brave couple to go to such an effort to have her. I think all of your children are lucky to have such wonderful parents. I am lucky to have 2 of each, go for it!!

7. kenzebabe6 - Nov 19 12:22pm

I really understand the feelings Lisa has. I think many women "grieve" for unborn children, whether it be the ones they can't have or for the gender they are unable to create.
I don't believe in gender selection and truly urge Lisa to try being at peace with where she is and let what happens happen.

8. mjkoelewyn - Nov 20 09:17pm

i cant believe this you have 6 BOYS still not happy you have to put the fam tru problems like this the boys wil feel not to good about the fact they are boys not the last ones anyway as you tell them i want a girl be happy whit all you get i wish i had them

9. ryant.yates - Mar 29 08:12am

i have 3 boys and completley support your decision i also love all my boys n would also love another 3 but that wouldnt take away my desire to have a daughter.people making comments like let god decide i would love to no if they though believe in fertillity treatments? dont judge unless u have been

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