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3 Red Flags That You're Headed for a Breakup

Jun 27 08:55am

When it comes to breaking up, hindsight is 20/20. But wouldn't it be nice if you could tell that you and your partner were headed for a falling out before it happened?

Fortunately, you can predict a break up. And with just a little bit of tweaking, you can get back on track and rescue your relationship before it hits the rocks.

Red Flag #1: Tuning Out
One of the most common reasons relationships fail is because one or both partners is tuning out. It might sound minor, but in actuality, few things are more hurtful than being ignored by your loved one, whether that is accompanied by emotional neglect or physical distance.

The Cure: Take Down the Wall
Tuning back in is easy. All you have to do is agree to listen to your partner's feedback and dedicate time and emotion to the relationship again. Start taking down the emotional wall, brick by brick. Look at your partner in the eye when he or she speaks (even if it is not what you want to hear), make physical contact daily (even if it is just holding hands), and re-commit to the relationship.

Red Flag #2: Fighting Fire with Fire
Couples who fight fire with fire can expect a relationship that is constantly up in flames. Name-calling, sarcasm, criticism, and violence (from throwing things, slamming doors, to actual physical abuse) result in emotional wounds that are hard to heal and relationships that are hard to rescue.

The Cure: Pour Water on the Flames
The next time you feel anger guiding you to say, or do, things you might regret, take time to cool off. If that's not possible, try framing your complaints as requests. For instance instead of, "Why did you forget our date?," you could say, "I feel sad that you forgot our date. How can we make sure this doesn't happen again?" If your partner is the one who is fanning the flames, don't engage in the vicious cycle of insults and tantrums. You can't fight fire with fire if the other person won't engage in the flame-throwing.

Red Flag #3: Refusing to Own Up
No one is perfect, so why is it that some of us refuse to take responsibility in our most important relationships? Passing the buck and playing the victim are surefire ways to put a relationship in jeopardy.

The Cure: Take Responsibility for Your Actions
The next time you forget an anniversary, or say something hurtful to your spouse, don't try to pass the buck and refuse to take responsibility. Instead, admit where you went wrong and try harder next time. Sounds simple... but it can save your relationship.

By making simple changes to the way you and your partner communicate, you can keep your relationship intact. All couples fight and argue, but it is how you fight and argue that determines whether your love can weather the storm.

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809 Comments Report Abuse
1. angelinacarlon - Jun 28 09:08am
If only I read this before getting to a point where things are so hard to heal, you can only try and learn from mistakes
2. mcneliska - Jun 28 11:04pm
Excellent article. It should be required reading for everyone in newly developed relationships while they are still 'honeymooning'.
3. chambersxyz@att.net - Jun 30 05:09am
All three ascribe comments are ok, relationships are like! %@$?+= and you take things for granted,.... next times.
4. jodief79 - Jul 01 02:34pm
I have read all of the point and you are so right, i think everyone sould try this because if it dose not work then you can say you have tryed, relationship are not be taking for granted because ones you don't have it anymore you strat to think what did i do worry, listed and talk it will help.
5. us_walters - Jul 01 06:00pm
if that was the case of breaking up.... We would all be alone !!
Show the love you get the love back, there is no cure for breaking up. The first thing that tells you something is wrong is when wandering eyes set in... after that it's all downhill
6. scottgadke - Jul 03 11:46am
If you partner quits going down on you, you might be on your way to getting dumped !!! This holds true whether your male of female. LOL !!!
7. rnorthro14 - Jul 03 04:28pm
Very simplistic. I believe there are more signs than this. Or at least the first one, "Tuning Out" could be greatly expanded upon and expounded. Plus the solution of pouring cold water on flames makes the person seem simpering and weak. I think its ok to let people know how you feel without being manipulative of passive aggressive.
8. bezboo1963 - Jul 03 04:34pm
THIS ARTICLE NEEDED MORE DEPTH AND WAS WAY TOO SIMPLISTIC!
9. thegraves5th - Jul 03 04:36pm
Thats why I am single... I don't want to deal with this garbage.... I make my own rules, and I want to live as I please and not let someone dictate where I should go, what I should do, what do I eat, watch on tv, or how I sleep. Forget it. I will get a dog. At least if he bites me, he will come back and show affection. Sorry women can't do that...
10. ageleven11 - Jul 03 04:37pm
This article is an EPIC FAIL.
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