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Can Hearing Loss Harm Your Marriage?

Apr 25 06:18am

Beg your pardon?

According to a recent study released by Energizer Battery, nearly half of all respondents feel that their marriage has suffered due to their partner's hearing loss. And since more than 28 million Americans now suffer from some type of hearing impairment, this is an issue with which many couples are contending.

What's so upsetting about hearing loss? Well, aside from the frustration (both of the speaker who is forced to constantly speak louder than comfortable, and the listener who is forced to constantly ask for things to be repeated), hearing loss can also be emotionally draining. Both partners begin to feel that their needs are not being understood as the miscommunications pile up around them.

Furthermore, the study also found that hearing loss is often accompanied by deliberate miscommunication at times. According to the survey, a husband might easily hear his wife preparing snacks in the kitchen and come running for a bite, but moments later when she asks him to take out the trash, he can't hear her! This so-called "selective hearing" might be amusing to an outsider, but for the spouse who constantly has to repeat herself and beg for errands to be performed, it is certainly no laughing matter.

So how can couples grapple with hearing loss and keep their relationship intact during this difficult time?

Tune in, even when it is not fun. It is much easier to hear someone when you believe that what they are saying is important. What seems like a minor issue (such as ignoring your spouse's request to buy milk on the way home) soon turns into your spouse feeling as though you ignored more than just the milk; you also ignored her needs. If you both make a commitment to be "all ears" and tune in to one another (even when the conversation is about errands), each of you will feel as though your needs matter.

Value the journey. When I was talking with my mother about this study, she told me a funny story about her communication with my father (who suffers from hearing loss). He often asks her to repeat herself. So if she says something with a negative tone, she takes it as an opportunity to "rewind" and state her comment more nicely. He is none the wiser, and she gets the chance to reconsider how she delivered her feedback, if need be.

Growing old together isn't always a primrose path, but it can still be happily ever after if both partners give it their all!

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37 Comments Report Abuse

1. woodnhorse_1 - Apr 25 11:37pm

I totally agree I AM 72 yrs. old and my 42 yr old son lives with us. I have trouble hearing certain voice sounds especially if the voices are low or quite & sometimes I feel that they are speaking this way on purpose knowing I can only hear a mumble. However if someone sets a glass down hard or suddenly yells something to someone else I come right out of the chair. A lot of seeminly quite sounds to others sound like loud screaming right in my ears to me. I have found that it is simply impossible to explain to my spouse & son just what it is like to see them speaking to me and me not knowing one word they have said. My mind tries to make sence of the sounds that I hear by comparing it to something I have heard or know, & when I repeat what I think I heard I get laughed at and looked at like I am some kind of weirdo. (THIS IS NOT A FUN THING AT ALL & SELECTIVE HAS NO PART IN IT).

2. blondonbottom - Apr 26 05:16am

I knew that ba$tard could hear me all along!

3. wengvictory - Apr 26 12:22pm

I loved my husband very much,i can sacrifice for him.But i dont know until when...maybe im stupid...because im always trust him..and listen to my heart..but i still pray to GOD.,, that one day morning when he wakes up he will changed everything...but anyway thanks alot even who u are..I know youre right.but im still waiting that one day,i can have a big and happy family forever..

4. bigbird2002@verizon.net - Apr 26 02:27pm

Being "all ears" is definitely a good tip for all couples in general. I've dealt with a hearing loss my whole life, and at times I've been told that I only hear what I want to hear. This may be true to an extent. Although it is frustrating not being being able to hear your partner, what is really important in a relationship is how you react to one another. What happens to you shouln't be the issue.

5. bigbird2002@verizon.net - Apr 26 02:29pm

6. bigbird2002@verizon.net - Apr 26 02:32pm

7. bigbird2002@verizon.net - Apr 26 02:33pm

8. ellieron1 - Apr 26 02:54pm

could hearing loss also make a man ignore you, not have conversations, watch TV all day and tune you out?

9. scottgadke - Apr 27 11:37am

Ahhh....the good old selective hearing. That is a trait that can be mastered by some people...lol. Not being able to hear, see, or any other of the things that the majority of the people tend to take for granted till it suddenly is taken from them can indeed cause a person some problems. One thing I have noticed is that a person who loses one of their senses like hearing or seeing always makes up for it with the rest of their senses.The rest of your senses get stronger when you lose one to make up the difference. Kind of a way of balancing things out. Ok.....Not trying to make fun of people who can't hear, so no harm intended with this joke........... A couple who were both deaf were having some communication difficulties in the bedroom when it came to having sex. When the lights were out they couldn't sign eachother very well. The wife had an idea on how her husband could tell her if he wanted to have sex with her. She told her husband to squeeze her left breast twice if he wanted to have sex with her and to squeeze the right one only once if he didn't feel like it. He said that was a great idea and told his wife he had a plan figured out for her to let him know if she wanted to have sex with him or not. He told her to pull on his pecker one time if she wanted to have sex and to pull on it 1000 times if she didn't feel like having sex.......LOL !!!

10. lesliejaakola - Apr 28 12:23am

I never really thought of it,but yes it can strain a relationship.My husband suffers from hearing loss.Sometimes I repeat myself not knowing if he heard me or not.That can cause problems too,he feels like I'm nagging him.Thank you,this was very helpful.