From the moment a woman announces she's pregnant she becomes fair game. What she eats, what she drinks, whether she exercises - it's all open for discussion and debate.

But this is only the beginning. Then comes the touching and body appraisal. Comments like: 'Oh, you are so neat', or worse: 'Do you have twins in there!' are perhaps spoken with sweet intentions, but are wearing when heard over and over again.

Talk quickly turns to the birth. Will it be natural or by caesarean, with drugs or without? As a baby grows, the focus is: will she breastfeed? Is the baby sleeping?

A mother can be bombarded with well-meaning advice. Talking things through and gathering various perspectives can be rewarding but it can also make her feel overwhelmed.

Australian women are fortunate because today they have so many opportunities. Yet the decisions they make are so open to judgment even those who don't have children are categorised.

One in four will never have a child and nearly one out of every two births is to women 30 years or over. A woman's age is constantly scrutinised. If she has babies early she's throwing her life away and if she waits it's sometimes construed as selfish pursuit of career.

Motherhood is certainly not for everyone. Those women who make the decision never to have children have my respect. For many it may be a financial decision. For others it might be failure to find a suitable partner with whom to share the responsibility of parenting.

A mother's decision to work or stay at home is also relevant. We constantly hear about research relating to the effects, positive and negative, of day care. But sometimes we don't have the luxury of choice - our circumstances are thrust upon us and all that is left is doing the best we can.

Many of us struggle quietly, carrying doubts and guilt alone. To open up and share our experiences can reap surprising rewards. By exposing our flaws we invite the support of those around us.

Bringing children into the world and raising them can be intensely rewarding and satisfying.

However, the days can also be monotonous, challenging and stressful. It's not uncommon for a mother to feel like she's on auto-pilot.

Issuing reminders, chasing tasks and giving orders is not the most romantic of roles. She might even feel at times that she has morphed into a practical, highly organised and very responsible version of that free-spirited girl she was before she had children. While these are all worthy qualities, she might sometimes find herself yearning to be that person once again.

As with most things these feelings soon pass, to be replaced with the pleasure that comes from creating a family. These moments of joy and happiness should be savoured.

Taking a leisurely walk with a toddler means seeing things I'd never notice on my own. A child has the most wonderful ability to absorb and appreciate the little things in life.

Often we find our own way quite successfully. But it's worth considering that as women our needs are different and, of course, the way in which we manage our lives will vary too.

Realising and accepting our limitations and being kind and accepting of others can lead to greater contentment, which I guess is what we're all striving to achieve.

For more advice from Antonia Kidman, check out the latest issue of New Idea - on sale now!

Have you faced any strange, rude or kind comments related to the motherhood choices you have made?

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