After finally owning a dog again after many years, I'd forgotten how similar it is to having a child in the house. They need as much love, attention and discipline as a young child, particularly on the toilet-training front!

In fact, the way Todd and I've approached our training for T.J. has also brought up a lot of different discussions on our basic parenting views. In many ways we have very similar ideas on what works and what doesn't, but we also have plenty of points of difference too.

Todd is very big on discipline. It's been a major factor in his life through his football-playing years and now in his work. He's very black and white. You're either right or wrong, being good or in trouble, and there's no grey area. It makes living with him very easy, as you know where you stand at all times. I sometimes wish I was more like him as I can be a bit wishy-washy in my approach to life.

Don't get me wrong, I'm very disciplined in how I structure my life and schedule, but it's probably fair to say I'm a little easier on the actual discipline side of parenting. That's not to say I don't have plenty of rules and consequences for breaking them, but I don't think you gain much by going off at children when they make a mistake. Usually they're so mortified by what they've done their guilt is punishment enough, and I think going on and on about it serves little purpose.

In fact, if your relationship with your children is open and honest, they're often deterred from doing anything wrong for fear of letting you down. I know that's how I felt with my parents. That's not to say I can't come down hard on my boys at times - it's just that so far I've had very little need to.
When T.J. the pup has an accident inside the house, Todd's very clear. She gets in trouble for it and is put outside. I totally agree with him that it's the right thing to do. However, after a while I feel bad and let her back into the house.

To my mind, she's served enough of a punishment and deserves another chance. It drives Todd bonkers when I do that! He thinks the only way she'll learn is if I'm tougher on her. He might be right, but my argument is that while she's a pup and learning, it's like toilet-training a baby. Sure, she has to learn if she 'goes' inside the house she gets sent outside, but that is tempered by lots of positive reinforcement when she does manage to take herself outside.

I'm also trying to get Todd and the boys into the habit of taking her out each time she wakes up from a sleep, or when an hour or so has passed and she's just been playing. Todd thinks my soft approach is hysterical and, as we stand outside in the pitch black of night encouraging our pup to 'go', he stirs me relentlessly about rewarding the dog for just doing the most natural of things. And it got us talking about what we'd do in a situation where it's your children involved.

Todd and I both agree that young children get almost too many awards for the most basic things at school these days. I mean while I'm big on being positive, I also think children value rewards a lot more when they feel they've truly earned them. Todd and I pretty much agree on how we'd discipline any future children. However, we've also both decided that, if and when the time comes, I'll be the one with the patience to oversee the toilet-training!

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