The forgotten victims of depression are the partners, family members and friends of those who have the illness. It’s difficult living with someone who is depressed because you can feel hopeless and helpless, but there are ways to cope.

Learn more about depression
Educate yourself about the illness – you’ll find a lot of good information on websites such as Lifeline (www.lifeline.org.au), The Black Dog Institute (www.blackdoginstitute.org.au) and Beyondblue (www.beyondblue.org.au). There are also specific sections on what to do if you suspect someone is suicidal.

Discuss your concerns
The best way to talk to your loved one is to say: ‘I’m really worried about you. You seem very down and not yourself.’ Describe any specific symptoms you’ve noticed, such as loss of appetite, sleep problems or irritability. Tell them you think they might be depressed, then leave the subject alone while it sinks in.

Encourage them to see an expert
Your love and support, as important as it is, won’t be enough to get them through their depression. You can’t be their therapist. They need the help of a GP and a psychologist or psychiatrist. Suggest they start by talking to a GP and ask if they’d like you to come along.

Don’t take things personally
Your partner, family member or friend may blame you for their unhappiness and despair. If they do, it’s important to bear in mind that irritability and anger are common symptoms of depression and that it’s only the illness talking.

Keep up your daily routine
Make sure you don’t give up on life, like your loved one. It won’t help anyone if you stop looking after the household or stop going to work.

Take care of yourself, too
It’s very easy to get down when you live with someone who’s depressed. If you think you’re suffering from depression too, make sure you seek expert help.

Let the children have fun
It won’t hurt anyone in your family, depressed or otherwise, to see the children being themselves and living a happy existence.

STAY ON THE BALL
If your loved one has depression, it’s important that you remain healthy, so you can support them. Keep up your exercise and eat well, and take regular time out to pamper yourself. 

Ask Jo for advice
Do you have a question for Jo? Post it to Healthy Mind, New Idea, Private Bag 9960, North Sydney, NSW 2059, or send an email to newidea@pacificmags.com.au.

Get more great health advice here