Unhappy, stressed mum

Q: I have three children aged four, two and five months. I'm married, but my husband works up to 80 hours a week so is not at home that much. I'm overweight but I don't have time through the day to exercise and when I have time at night, I'm too tired.

I have tried walking with the kids, but the two-year-old likes to stop all the time and I get nowhere. We live in a hilly area and they can't ride their bikes. What can someone like me do when my children have to come first?

Uphill Battle, Pottsville, NSW.

A: I love the fact you put your children first.

They deserve the very best, including a happy mum. With three children under five years of age, there won't be much time for you. I completely understand you not having much energy left for anything at the end of the day, and walking with a two-year-old is good for your toddler, but it's not really aerobic for you.

'You' time

Try not to figure out how you can fit a serious workout into your already busy day. What you need is some kind of break each day, no matter how small it is. If there is ever a period of time when the younger two children are asleep and your four-year-old is resting or watching a video, snatch that time for yourself.

Mums often use these opportunities to rush around and get a
few jobs done. But filling every spare second with chores will only burn you out quicker. Instead, try to think about how to do something for yourself each day. Some days it might just be having a quick cup of tea. Believe it or not, chatting with a good friend on the phone for 15 minutes will be better for you and therefore the children than making sure all the toys are put away for the tenth time that day. Other days it might be possible to do some gentle floor exercises for five or 10 minutes.

Why not get some 2kg weights and work on your biceps and triceps when the children are distracted for a moment? You might not believe these tiny exercises are valuable, but they are.

A brighter future

As the children get older, you'll gradually have more time for yourself because they'll become more independent. In the not too distant future, they'll be able to entertain themselves for half an hour while you ride an exercise bike or put on an exercise video - just not yet.

When your husband is home, is it possible for the two of you to take turns to get out on your own for a while? Even if you could enjoy a 30-minute walk just once over the weekend, you'd feel better. If you make the most of your hilly neighbourhood the walk should be quite a workout.

Be realistic

As your baby is only five months old, significant weight loss might be difficult. Many mums find the weight doesn't really start to shift until the baby is at least 12 months old. And the more children you have, the harder it can be to lose the weight. So make sure your expectations are realistic. It might take another 18 months for you to notice significant changes on the scales.

Good for you - and them

Having realistic expectations doesn't mean you should stop thinking about your health. It's important to eat healthily, not just for your sake, but also for the whole family's sake. Sometimes, when we're not feeling great about our bodies, it's easy to fall into bad habits such as drinking too much alcohol or giving in to those chocolate cravings after dinner.

Many mothers of small children can also forget to eat meals themselves, as they're so busy looking after their children's needs. Instead, they rely on eating the leftovers on their kids' plates or just grazing throughout the day.

Try to eat three meals and two healthy snacks a day. So, put your children first, but start thinking about yourself - even if it's just once a day.

For more advice from Jo Lamble, check out the latest issue of New Idea - on sale now!