Growing up in a family of girls meant boys remained a bit of a mystery to me. But as the mother of two boys, I'm enjoying my initiation into the male world.

As they approach adolescence, I'm acutely aware I'll have my work cut out for me. I'm sure my daughters will keep me on my toes too, but I'll probably find it easier to relate to the issues they'll face. With my sons, I need insight and understanding into the things that matter to them.

Michael Currie is a psychologist and author of a new book that looks at teenage anger.

Doing Anger Differently - Helping Adolescent Boys (Melbourne University Press, $34.95) aims to help parents understand their sons' aggression. Years of experience working with boys have culminated in this practical guide for parents.

Adolescence is an awkward coming-of-age time when an individual moves from child to adult. It's not new, nor is it unique to Western culture, but the anguish of being a teenager has long been recognised as a difficult time. For a boy, he's moving towards becoming a man. 'Adolescence is the way of trying to provide an answer to the question: "What is a man?"' Michael says.

There are so many choices and opportunities presented to a young boy. There's the desire to fit in and be accepted, define his independence, cope with school pressures and parental expectations, self-image, information overload from new technologies and vulnerability about what he wants to be. It's this vulnerability that can trigger anger.

Michael explains: 'Adolescent men bruise easily and there's a lot at stake, as a man, to show you they don't bruise easily.'

For many boys, anger helps them feel capable and in control - a way a boy expresses himself. When parents feel under attack, consider stepping back, ignoring blame and listening to what's wrong.

'Anger's very often a clue there's a problem. But the emotional outbursts, while unsettling and confronting, aren't the problem itself,' Michael says. 'The solution lies beyond asking your son to control his anger. Parents have to investigate his anger.' He advises parents to use conflict constructively.

'Think of a boy's anger as the motor or engine to start communication. It's important to listen to what he's saying. When he's angry, he'll be full of emotion and will reveal stuff about himself. But afterwards he'll close the door and shut down. In terms of establishing and maintaining a dialogue, parents need to be like coaches and experiment with what works and what doesn't.'

Michael explains both parents play a role in helping adolescents. A father's role is crucial to the boy's separation from the family. The father can listen to and acknowledge his goals, dreams and ambitions, and indicate a direction that will help achieve them. A father can also limit the boy's ‘fun' and help him follow his words with actions.

The function of the mother is as a 'point of departure', the place from where the boy leaves to become an adult. The problem with angry adolescents is they often blame their mother.

As the roles between men and women become more fluid, there are many men fulfilling mothering roles and women stepping into a fathering role. The terms mother and father serve to describe a function only.

Mothers can be fatherly and fathers can nurture. What's important is to talk openly about it within the family and make sure neither role is lost.