Q: Do you have any advice on surviving financially and emotionally when paying child support? I'm doing extra shifts to make ends meet, only to have the next year's taxable income (and bill) go up. It is a vicious circle that just won't end no matter what we do.

Trying to pay bills, rent and food is a struggle at present. I have no money to do anything, or to continue a relationship with my new fiance. I feel like my life is spiralling out of control due to negative feedback from associations that say they are trying to help. What can we do?

Leah, NSW.

A: Concern about personal finances is the one thing that causes the most stress in people's lives. That stress can easily cause health problems such as high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, lowered immunity to colds and flu, headaches and stomach aches.

Constantly stressing over finances can also cause mental health issues such as anxiety, depression and a general feeling of being out of control. People who have huge financial pressures often say they have the feeling that something bad is about to happen - all the time.

Sound advice

There is a growing need for professional financial counselling services in our communities. We need access to affordable advice that helps to reduce our monthly bills, escape the credit cycle, save for our children's education and plan for retirement.

Stories such as yours help to highlight the need for more of these types of services.

What not to do

My advice to you is to focus on your overall wellbeing. During these difficult years, it is easy to start self-medicating with alcohol, smoking or overeating.

Such unhelpful behaviours will only make you feel worse and land you in further financial difficulties. Similarly, it's amazing how many people in serious debt will shopto ease their stress. Good old retail therapy has a lot to answer for. Taking care of you
When you are feeling the strain of trying to make ends meet, you need to really take care of yourself physically and mentally.

Exercise is the best medication for stress. Try to do something small each day, even if it's just a 15-minute walk or some sit-ups in front of the TV. Work out your favourite way to relax. Is it reading? Is it a yoga class? Maybe it's learning a slow breathing exercise or going for a swim. I know there are never enough hours in the day, but taking just three minutes to do a calming breathing exercise will help you through that busy day.

Sweet dreams

Sleep is often affected by financial stress. It's essential you maintain what we call good sleep hygiene. That doesn't mean you have to be ultra clean. It means you need to give yourself the best possible chance to get a good night's sleep.

Have the same pre-sleep routine every night. You might have a cup of herbal tea, then a quick shower, clean your teeth and jump into bed with a magazine or good book. It may sound funny, but like young children, we need to give our brains the signal when to go to sleep.

Future proof

Financial headaches place a lot of strain on relationships. It is so important you and your fiance are on the same page when it comes to money. Keep talking about money, even if it's an ugly subject. You could set up, and try to maintain, a budget together.

To survive this difficult time, you need a combination of expert financial advice and strategies to look after yourself physically and mentally.

For more advice from Jo Lamble, check out the latest issue of New Idea - on sale now!