Stop the 21st century from killing your sex life and show her the best time she's had in the bedroom in years

In our world of internet porn and dirty movie-making celebrities, you'd think everyone's at it like rabbits OD-ing on Viagra. But the reality is far less X-rated. Research from the Kinsey Institute in the US reveals couples are having less sex today than in the 1950s. "Psychologists estimate one in five couples have sex less than 10 times a year," says Michele Weiner-Davis, author of The Sex-Starved Marriage. And a Men's Health poll of 2000 men found one in five of us would rather get sweaty in the gym than the bedroom. But don't consider a monastic life just yet. A few simple steps can get your libido firing again like a teenager at the Playboy Mansion.



Nod off
Sex-drive downer
You'd think staying awake would be the key, but sleep comes first, you come second. The National Sleep Foundation in the US reports that 75% of us suffer sleep problems, and one-quarter of those in relationships reckon their sex life has suffered.

Sex-drive upper
Make a cup of tea. "Yogi Bedtime Tea (yogitea.com.au) contains chamomile and valerian root, which both relax you," says Carina Norris, author of You Are What You Eat: Live Well, Live Longer. "A caffeine-free hot drink can become a relaxing ‘bedtime ritual' to help you nod off."

The lesson: sticking the kettle on brings your sex life to the boil.

Go nuts
Sex-drive downer
Research from Penn State University Centre for Sports Medicine in the US has found that if you don't get enough mono-unsaturated fat - the kind found in nuts and olive oil - your testosterone levels will drop, and consequently your libido will be running on empty.

Sex-drive upper
"Munch your way through two handfuls of walnuts, peanuts or almonds every day," says Norris. Then search for some sex toys and a large amount of lubricant.

The lesson: nuts power your nuts.

Scream for more
Sex-drive downer
Tension saps your sex drive like a mental image of Bronwyn Bishop. "When you're anxious, epinephrine narrows your blood vessels," says urologist Dr Culley Carson, "And this works against your arousal and your erection."

Sex-drive upper
"Release your stress with the Silent Scream," says Anton Michael Rocke, yoga master at The Acu-Lift Clinic in London. "Sit with a straight back and hands on your thighs. Open your eyes, face and mouth wide, stick your tongue out, take a deep breath and roar silently." To avoid the stress of finding a new job, try silent screaming in toilet cubicles rather than at your desk.

The lesson: try yoga naked.

Order dessert
Sex-drive downer
If you're not skipping pudding for health reasons, your diet could be lacking the food of love. "A lack of calcium and phosphorus in your diet hinders a healthy sex drive, because these two minerals are crucial for essential nerve function in your erotic regions," says Norris.

Sex-drive upper
Add the finishing touch to your dinner with ice cream; it contains both these key minerals. And go for vanilla. According to studies at the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago, the pod's scent relaxes men and reduces inhibitions.

The lesson: an extra scoop means extra sex.

Engage your mind
Sex-drive downer
Smoking, depression and heart disease or medication to treat high blood pressure can prevent your brain from communicating effectively with the business end of your love life.

Sex-drive upper
To improve connections between grey matter and groin, stop smoking, and check with your GP if your medication could be affecting your sex drive. Now get yourself a drink. "Alcohol increases arousal signals between your brain and your penis," says Dr James Baradaa, director of the Centre for Male Sexual Health in Albany in the US. Stop after one, though. Any more and you'll depress your nervous system, dulling your senses.

The lesson: a tipple is a turn on - just don't have too many.

Turn cereal thriller
Sex-drive downer
If you're not waking up with sex on the brain, check the label on your chosen breakfast. Is your cereal fortified with thiamine and riboflavin? You need at least 1.1mg of thiamine and 1.7mg of riboflavin a day to keep your sex drive in gear. "Both vitamins help you use glucose more efficiently, so you won't suffer the all-too-common modern curse of libido-sapping energy slumps," says Norris. Plus they improve nerve function, which means more stimulation from touch. And you know what that means.

Sex-drive upper
Have a bowl of multigrain cereal, like Weetbix, every day. "And a bowl in the mid-afternoon or evening will maintain energy levels," says Norris.

The lesson: get your oats and you'll get your oats.