Beware: the MH office girls tell it straight. Click here to ask Jannah, Hanna and Sam the questions you can't ask anyone else.

Q: I look a lot like an ex-soap star and since he and I share the same first name, it's helped me pick up a few girls over the years. Is it wrong to pretend to be someone I'm not for the purpose of the odd one-nighter?

-DG

Sam: If these groupies sleep with because you look like their high-school, Summer Bay crush, don't burst their bubble. They love that they have a C-grade celeb to add to their notches, as much as you love pretending to be one.

Jannah: Hopefully you're more Daniel MacPherson, than Dieter Brummer. Why the sudden shock of conscience? It might be a problem if you find a girl you like, but if you're just looking for fun, then use all the ex-soap-star power you can muster. I'm not going to judge.

Han: But I am. Yes, it's wrong. You shouldn't lie - and that includes withholding information. If you think you can't pull without pretending to be someone else, you've got some self-esteem issues. Have confidence in who you are and chicks will like you for who you are - even if it's only for one night.

Sam: Most men tell lies to bed women. If you're not looking for something serious, work with what you have.

Han: By the way, did you ever stop to think about the celeb whose life you're hijacking? You're giving him a bad name . . . or a good one, depending on your skills.

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Q: If I'm dancing with a girl for more than 15 minutes I often get an erection. I spend more mental effort trying to remedy it than on dancing, because I don't know if girls will find it gross or off-putting.  Do they?

- "Phil"


Jannah: I have to be honest Phil, this is a turn-off. It's happened to me before (did we meet on the Soho dance floor?) and I just had to run, get away. Perhaps I should've been flattered (and held my dance space)? But maybe not all women would be freaked out by this. Girls?

Han: What we don't know won't hurt us. But an unrestrained penis might. Control it or someone could lose an eye.

Sam: If you are 18 you've got plenty of time to tame your manhood. At 40 though, you might want to consider taking the edge off before you go out, Ben Stiller-style, as an overly enthusiastic introduction can be a little off-putting.

Han: How often are you cutting up the rug, Phil? Maybe if you dance more often, the novelty will wear off and so will your woody. But at least you know it'll function when you attempt the horizontal mambo.  

Sam: On the upside, the ladies won't doubt that everything's in working order.

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Q: I'm getting a bit worried, because my last two girlfriends turned gay after we broke up. The sex was good with both and I never had any complaints. Your thoughts?

- WS


Sam: You can't turn someone gay - you either are or aren't. Your exes deciding to stick with the sisterhood is a personal decision; it's nothing to do with you.

Han: Just a coincidence, my friend. Or, it's the type of
girls you go for. Maybe you're attracted to "adventurous", Angelina Jolie types - and why wouldn't you be - who were bi-curious all along?

Jannah: I must admit I've been tempted to turn gay myself after a break-up, but females are missing that extra something required to really get me excited. But enough about me. If it was one, I'd say fine, but two is a bit suss. Perhaps you should be asking your exes for some feedback on the issue.

Sam: This could be a great opportunity; the three of you, together, reminiscing about the good old days . . . you never know your luck.

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Need the girls' advice bad? Click below to send your most difficult dilemmas direct to Jannah, Hanna and Sam.



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